Author

Kristina

There's not too much to me. I have insomnia, and depression. I'm also asexual, demi-romantic and atheist. The only thing I like is reading - it takes me to another world where I can forget that worthless Kristina exists.

Help

by Kristina 7/31/2012

written by Kristina

Please, if I may reach out to anyone that can help me. I have been cutting on my thighs, and scars remain there. My family has decided that we should go to the beach for the last bit of summer. I have a pool, but all I do to hide my scars is wear shorts. They think I’m weird for doing this, but do not question it.

I’m not sure if I can get away with shorts on the beach. I am not old enough to refuse the beach, nor go to a store to buy scar creme. If you are experienced with these matters, please […]

7/31/2012 11 comments

Hypocrites

by Kristina 7/5/2012

written by Kristina

I hate being one, and I’m sure you do too. But you know, sometimes it can’t be helped.

I see people struggling to get through life, and I try to help them. I tell them it will get better. I try to give them hope.

But you know, I don’t feel that way. I refuse for people to get close to me because I’m a worthless *****. I’ve given up hope. I don’t think it will ever get better.

Of course, being the hypocrite I am, I will say that all I want to do is die, but I don’t want you to because […]

7/5/2012 0 comment

My Resting Place

by Kristina 7/5/2012

written by Kristina

My family is moving, but I don’t want to. I’m not old enough to live on my own, and it sucks. I grew up in this house, I love this house. I can run around in the dark with my eyes closed and know where everything is.

But, even though I love this house, pain lingers in the air for me. I refuse to die in a new house that I do not feel comfortable in. I know this house like all my scars. I remember when I was just a child, carefree and happy.

In the new house, I will have to make new […]

7/5/2012 2 comments

The Lucky Ones

by Kristina 7/2/2012

written by Kristina

When I see movies or commercials or websites that ‘help’ people with depression, I cry. Because I believe that only some people can get out of this horrible fucking mess and be happy. I call them ‘The Lucky Ones’. I don’t dare believe that everyone can get out. It’s sad, but it’s true. I mean, I’m never going to get rid of my depression. And I sure don’t want to take pills to try to make it go away. The pills will just make me a fucking empty doll. I rather the pain than nothing at all. I’m going to die this way. Maybe whoever’s […]

7/2/2012 6 comments

Passage of Time

by Kristina 6/26/2012

written by Kristina

I almost can’t believe how long my depression has gone on for. 5 Years I have been living in my own personal hell, with no good ending in sight. I’m sick of having to put up with myself, day after day. Worthless crazy ***** is what I am. All I want to do is die. Feel death’s cold grips against my consciousness. I want to watch the blood pour out of my pale skin, ending my pathetic life. If you can call it a life. I have no friends, they’ve all abandoned me for greater things. I’ve tried to talk to them again, but I […]

6/26/2012 1 comment

My Suffering

by Kristina 6/7/2012

written by Kristina

Living is suffering for me. I know some would say that I should feel like I have a great life. But they are only saying that because of my material objects.

They don’t know that I stay up late at night, crying because I have to hide so much of myself. My family is Christians, and they make fun of gays. It’s so hard due to the fact that I am a bisexual atheist. And it’s not like I have the courage to just tell them.

I don’t know exactly how long I’ve been depressed, but I noticed some notes of mine dating back to […]

6/7/2012 2 comments