Today was a great day, celebrated my nephew’s birthday with family and friends. Now I’m home alone and all I can think about is how much I hate being alive. I am drinking knowing that it only makes things worse…but I can’t help it. It gives me the sense that my thoughts are just caused by the alcohol…that it’s not me…but I know the truth. I’m alone…there’s a loaded gun in my drawer. I think about how easy it is to just…
I love my family, I know they love me…I have everything I could ever want, but I don’t…can’t appreciate it all. I just […]
I wake up every morning with this constant desire to die. It just feels wrong to be alive. First words out of my mouth are “I want to die.†It’s become my mantra, for lack of better words. I’ve felt this way since I was about fourteen. I’ve been to therapy and talked with counselors and psychologists but my need to die can never be unearthed. I get asked about sexual abuse and trauma, there is none. I get asked about physical abuse, there is none. I’ve had a great life, great family, people who love me […]