Here I am. Open and willing to love yet unable to find it. I wonder how long this will last. Giving all and being thrown aside. Committed with no one to commit to me. It’s all very painful really. Painful in heart, spirit, and in body.
Love. Such a painful procedure. If only it would stop. If only I could make it end. Oh what a life that would be. A life that I might live for if it didn’t require that I end it all.
do you think they would say things if they knew?
do you think they would sit here and tell me that everything gets better with time? Or that time heals all wounds if they could feel this?
if they had to feel this knife taking pieces of my heart… would they still look at me and tell me I’ll get over it?
if they could feel the tears that pour down my face would they still tell me everything will be okay?
2 years and it’s like nothing has changed.
2 years and I think about you with every gust of wind.
2 years and I feel your hand in mine […]
i saw you today…
i swear it.
on my grave it was you.
your hair, your height, your smile…
that smile.
i saw you today.
you were there..
you were right there in front of me.
if i reached out my hand i could have touched you.
i could have grabbed your hand.
i saw you today…
but it wasn’t really you..
was it…
of course it wasn’t… it couln’t have been.
you’re dead.
Can you believe it?
One year without you.
One year since you left us.
since you left me.
One year since your eyes were on the world.
One year since anyone has heard your laugh.
One year since the sun hasn’t shined as bright.
One year since you have been kissed by those you love.
One year that your baby brother has woken up screaming your name every night.
Once year since he found you laying in your bed.
One year since your mother had to bury you.
flag and all.
One year of pain in my heart.
god damn how it hurts.
One year since I have felt your touch.
oh, how i miss your touch.
One year.
Tonight was the third time I have talked my sister out of ending her own life. It breaks my heart to see someone I love so much be in so much pain. The first couple of times she called me I knew deep down she wouldn’t do it. She just needed someone to remind her that she was loved and cherished. However, there was something different about this time… there was a change in her voice a distant sound of anguish. My darling sister, the woman I looked up to, was in an abusive relationship with an awful human being. This person would hit my sister, […]
catch a falling star and put it in your pocket… save it for a rainy day…
I was always told this.. and through my life I have had plenty of falling stars to catch…
but now it seems like my rainy days are over powering my stars.. im getting thoughts in my head, feelings that I cant be free of, images that haunt me.
I just need something to save me from myself.
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