Tonight was the third time I have talked my sister out of ending her own life. It breaks my heart to see someone I love so much be in so much pain. The first couple of times she called me I knew deep down she wouldn’t do it. She just needed someone to remind her that she was loved and cherished. However, there was something different about this time… there was a change in her voice a distant sound of anguish. My darling sister, the woman I looked up to, was in an abusive relationship with an awful human being. This person would hit my sister, and kick her, and speak to her as though she was nothing more than a diseased rodent on the ground. For the past two years my sister had stayed with them taking all of the abuse accepting her role of insignificance in life and just letting it happen. My father never approved of my sisters choices, nor did most of my family. They would pretend to build her up just to continue to bad mouth her decision to everyone else. So naturally my sister was not feeling very loved, she was falling apart. She couldn’t have nothing. She could go no where with no one, and she wasn’t even aloud to dance anymore. (something she had loved all of her life)
Thankfully a couple of nights ago my sister found the strength to leave this villainous person. But like anybody who lost one they loved even the strength she had to leave didn’t protect her from the pain in her heart that was now there. My sister was drowning in sorrow with no hope of ever returning to the surface.
She needed to be loved… she needed to REMEMBER that even though she wasn’t always told, even though she hurt now, even though everything seemed to crumble around her, there were still people who absolutely loved her.
So tonight this is what I charge to you all…
REMEMBER that while it may seem dark now… while all of the stars may have been ripped from your sky… there are still people who love you. That no matter what you think, out there in the world there is someone who will notice, that if you decide to go, things will in fact change. Sure there will be flowers and sun and rain and clouds, but to them without you, the flowers wont smell so sweet, the sun wont feel as warm, the rain wont be so refreshing, and the clouds wont be as magical. You are important. You are LOVED.
2 comments
I know I am loved. But until those emotions in other people translate into some actual action to get me oyt of this fucking hole, I don’t give a rat’s ass. They have feelings. Big deal.
Thanks for writing that, insignific4nt. I appreciate what you wrote. At the same time, I have to acknowledge what muspelhem commented. There may indeed be people who love me. Unfortunately, it doesn’t show as something tangible. Sadly, simply loving somebody is much easier than acting on that love. The absence of love implies no love… and that might cause some problems.