Iv tried too commit suicide a fair few times by overdosing an there’s always been this one memory of mine when I tried too hang myself, where I was standing on my computer chair I was going too hang myself there an then it was on my birthday I’m pretty sure.
Well that memory has always stuck with me standing up there with an extension cable wrapped around my neck for 45 minutes just wanting too take that last step off that chair but it just never happened I remember looking over at my dog “Leroy” an just becoming very jelly like! I had this […]
It’s a terrible terrible thing that will never become better, since a very young age i had too start coping with something that happened to me an iv kept it too myself until only a few months ago where I ended up telling a police lady about it, nothing came about it though she tried helping me but all that happened was I got taken too a mental hospital an when I got there I was very scared too explain what I had said too the police lady that i know personally an trust at the time there were bush fires going on in Australia […]
I wish changing my sleeping pattern wasn’t so hard i always do this for months at a time staying up all night an drowning in my sheets in the day i never get sun gee wish going out side wasn’t such a big thing too me iv missed out on so many amazing things, i bet… Never had a girlfriend an lost all my actual friends from pushing them away for years Chronic anxiety an depression what a waste of a life….
Im 23 now and not a single thing has changed since i was 17 its time i cant go on anymore its just ridiculous now im going too talk myself into hanging before the month ends i cant go on, my heart aches an it has for what feels like an internity 6 years since iv last posted i cant believe its been that long, ???
Fucking why does my life have to be so fucked up I don’t even want to talk about it anymore like fuck I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up!
I just never want to be looked at again
I don’t want to be spoken to or speak myself!
This life has won the game already and it’s just pulling me along for more pain to be felt!
Quit fucking around and let me get hit by a car or truck tomorrow!
@$&%#%#&$&@#%
One of my old mates that I have been fighting with came around to my house tonight and asked if I wanted to go hunting so I said yes and we went and killed some pigs and stuff with the dogs I had heaps of fun but my legs are sore because we have been running up hills all night it is 4:24am atm I’m so tired time for bed I think goodnight everybody.
In Australia hunting is a big thing and I have been brought up doing it my whole life so it’s kinda like my get away from sitting at home being sad 24-7
I’ve been standing here for the last 20 minutes trying to get enough courage to step of the stupid chair, I want to leave so bad but I just can’t take this last step!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?!
I just want a easy and painless way out.
My first and only attempt I took 100, 500mg sleeping tablets and 27, 200mg painkiller tablets to slowly drift away and all that happened was I passed out in my bed then spewed all over myself while I was still passed out then when I regained consciousness my mum had found me and took me to my nearby hospital then I went out to it again and they sent me to another bigger hospital witch they put stuff down into my guts to make me spew the remainder of tablets out.
Note, I attempted on the night before […]