I’ve been standing here for the last 20 minutes trying to get enough courage to step of the stupid chair, I want to leave so bad but I just can’t take this last step!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?!
Why am I so weak!
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I don’t think you’re weak. So wishing I had words to make you feel better.
You aren’t weak. You’re asking yourself if you’ve exhausted all avenues of hope before you make this final, irreversible decision. That’s not weakness.
No, not weak, you don’t really know if you really want to until you are at this point, talking is better than this so why not talk instead?
What made you get to this point? Your situation might not be as hopeless as you may think and there might be a light at the end of the tunnel.
I thought you were going to stay longer than this, I know you have problems staying at your mothers I remember your last post, but you were going to put up with it while you work things out. You’ve done two drafts today, what do you have to say.
So sorry you are in such pain and so confused. Why can’t you? Because you know deep down that you shouldn’t…which means you are hopefully not actually suicidal…but severely depressed, angry, hurt and scared enough to have suicidal ideations. I mean…lots of times suicide seemed like the easiest option…but it isn’t the only one…and certainly not the best one. Are you diagnosed, in treatment or on medications? Just curious.
Understand that this is just my opinion…but I truly understand how you are feeling right now…and my heart goes out to you. Instead of continuing to try to end your life…stick around and talk …and talk some more…what do you have to lose except everything?
Please put the chair away…or sit down and cry…but suicide is never the only answer. This is not weakness….but strength of Spirit.
Iv sat down. 🙁
You’s say it’s not weak, I understand where you’s are coming from. But Ehh!
I just wish it was easyer, deep deep down I do want to help myself but I just don’t want to wait anylonger
2 more months till im 18 and a couple of opportunities may come up I might be able to change things but it’s also going to be hard with my social anxiety I think…
Iv got my learners license but have no where near enough hours to go for my Ps so I can drive myself around to try and get away from this hell hole!
Yesterday night I thought I should start practising for my motorbike Ls then I will be able to go anywhere by myself but tonight iv just been so upset just in one of them moods I guess. :”(
I was on medication and I think it may of been helping but I stopped taking it because of no reason maybe that was a bad idea, I can feel myself going down hill again,
I just don’t know what to do anymore, I’m scared of the though of pain hanging there for as long as it takes for my life to fade away there has to be an easy and painless way! 🙁
Does anybody know about gassing yourself in a car? Iv thought about that once before but I haven’t read up on it?
When I tried that, it didn’t work. Cars’ emissions are a lot cleaner than they used to be. Meds suck, but there will be a time when you’re glad you stayed in this fight. I’m speaking to myself too. I was just speaking with someone about how the people in this unlikely community (myself included) are more than willing to dole out advice that we believe is true for everyone but ourselves. I got off my meds, but I’m slowly realizing I need to get back on them. It’s better to stay alive and on meds.
I’m glad you’re still breathing.
Modern car engines too clean, go back to the meds, and hang on, you will get out of that place and spread your wings and things will be different, I promise. When you are in one of those moods come here and talk about it, so glad you’re ok, was worried about you after seeing that picture, take care.
You are right…you were just in one of those moods. And moods can be changed. Perhaps you should go back on the meds for a while. The problem…the meds are a temporary measure and can not replace therapy…they are meant to help while you get the therapy. Problem is…it takes time and real effort…but as soon as you overcome one thing…it spurs you on to more and more…and before you know it…..
As for looking for a better method…this does not concern me. Why? Because there is no fail proof method…if you are meant to be here…you will be here. So instead of having a miserable time of it…why not start to make things better? I dunno…after almost 50 years of being suicidal…my biggest regret…what a complete waste of my life. You are wasting precious time…your precious time…because things are not perfect and you are scared of transitioning? Understand I don’t know you…this is just my opinion. I wish you well and I wish you Hope.
Wow you guys are really amazing people,
That’s all I can say, :/
It’s been one hell of a night and now the sun is coming up and now I’m getting tired so I guess I’m going to sleep all day and waste my life even more then what I already have done,
All I do is stay up all night thinking about bad things the I end up sleeping all day! It’s so bad!
I try to get into the routine of a normal person but I always end up going back to sleeping all day.
I’ve struggled with this myself Shannon…but sleep is healing. It is a bad habit and nothing more…usually caused by electronics addiction and boredom. Oh shit…I’m speaking of myself. So sorry. I finally broke the habit by going to sleep a half hour earlier every other night until I found myself on human time again. ha
Good Morning and sleep well…today is yesterdays tomorrow or some such. haha I find getting out of the house makes it virtually impossible to sleep all day. Just a random thought. Pleasant dreams.
^^^This names rings a bell.
Koji what you going on about?