i’ve stopped wanting to get better, this thing has a mind of its own. just a few weeks ago i could see half-way clear trying to get ahead of it..then the voices got in, i kept trying to push them away, it got more and more and then they wouldn’t shut up at all..now i stopped existing and everything i do or think is directed at finding loopholes in this absurd ‘you shouldn’t kill yourself’ bullshit..i don’t even self-medicate, i’ve checked out completely, don’t feel anything, don’t want anything except to not be. i’m too full of people, too full of memories, too full of […]
