LastMonths

So i prepared myself to OD on some sleeping pills.
I’m preparing to face myself after a tiring long journey.
After 9 years of hurting people and hurting my loved ones I think I should stop. Being a disappointment and being adviced every single day is not helping me. I’m drowning on my own sadness and it feels like I can never get back up. Why is major depression a thing or rather why is depression a thing. My emotions are a mess and it feels like im messing with other peoples emotions as well. It is not fun to have this kind of sickness, […]

I was a good kid, “was” until I got to experience the so called loss of a father not a regular loss by cause of death it is one of the few things I’ll never forget.

Leaving without a trace, Me and my mom tried to find him. Using every resource we got. Money, people in the higher ups etc. My mom finally moved on with her life.
But nobody knew i was stuck in that spiral not knowing if i should continue or not.

It was right there and then. That shitstorms always came my way. I became aloof, got into fights and would rather skip […]

Why is it that people say you’re way too young for this. Way too young for that.

It never was that way.
I consider postivity toxic to myself.
I am so tired about how I live everyday like a disappointment.

Advices from elders just get on my nerves.
Am i a worse person than you? Maybe I am.
Fooling other people to make them think you are important.
It’s sickening I’ve become like this.

Will I ever escape from this.
Maybe I would.
A good day to end all days is in your birthday.
Lock the doors
And sleep peacefully.

Knowing full well you won’t wake up anymore.

And hurting […]