busy myself
to distract
from the
terrible thoughts
busy myself
to distract
from the
sadness, depression
busy myself
to distract
from the
suicidal thoughts
busy myself
to distract
from the
saddening images
busy myself
to distract
from the
screaming voices
Hi Guys,
It’s day 19… Woo… Ummm sooo… Guess I’m continuing these things?
My day… I had a few panic attacks… Well to be exact two… *sigh* Maybe they’ll get better… Umm… So yeah….
How am I? Physically: Terrible absolutely terrible Mentally: Awful
My physical state… *sigh* I’m sickish… I have a headache, my nose hurts, I may or may not have a fever and I’m really stressed out… So I’m not doing so well in my physical state all I want to do is curl up and cuddle with someone, but alas no one is here to cuddle with […]
so many
secrets
to keep
that i cant
tell anyone
so many
secrets
i have
that i
have to
keep
and hide
from the world
so many secrets
how
can i cope?
i don’t cope
that’s the
thing
i just let it go…
I challenge you guys to tell the truth, How are you? Maybe I can help, I’d love to…
Hi Guys,
Umm…. So I think I have decided something… I’m not going to continue with these posts… Sorry… It’s just I am running out of things… My life is now boring… I mean all it is now is wake up, starve myself, go to sleep. I mean do you really want to hear that every day?
Sooo yeahh…. If you do want me to continue just leave a comment saying so…
How am I? Physically: Meh, could be better, but it could be worse. Mentally: My mind is chaotic.
My physical state… Well you know how I injured my shoulder maybe a week ago? Yeah well last night […]
tempted
to write
my own feelings
but can i? no.
atlas i cannot write down
what i am feeling right now
why can i not? why can’t i?
so many things, people, cares, worries, frets, etc
maybe its good to bottle things up and lie
how am i? how am i doing? how are you?
i reply with, i’m fine.” i wish i could tell the truth
maybe someday i will be able to over come my fears, and tell
the real, down to earth, truthful, honest truth about how i really, truthfully feel
am i stable
no
am i okay
no
am i fine
no
im not doing okay
im not doing fine
must you be worried about me?
must you care about me?
we all know
im trying my best
to recover
we all know
im trying in my own way
to recover
we all know
we all have special ways
to recover
this is mine
i know its not
the best way
but its my way
and maybe it’ll work.
This is my tribute to bullying. There are SO MANY kids out there getting bullied. And what are we doing to stop it? Nothing. Stand up for once. Be yourself. Stop being fakes. And start caring. WE can only change this world. It’s not going to magically happen. So live in the moment. Don’t bully. Be you. And stand out. You were born to be YOU. Not someone else. You weren’t born to be bullied or to be a bully, just you. So what if you were born ‘weird’, an ‘outcast’, or ‘nerdy’. It’s you. You can’t change who you were supposed to be. […]
bright screen
blinking cursor
eyes darting
fingers typing
dimmed screen
still cursor
eyes closed
fingers deleting
does it matter
what i say
does it matter
what i feel
do you care anymore?
do you worry anymore?
do you bother anymore?
do you listen anymore?
do i bother you?
do i annoy you?
do i irritate you?
do i disturb you?
Maybe you don’t care.
Maybe you don’t worry.
Maybe you don’t bother.
Maybe you don’t listen.
Are you really there for me?
Or am I just too clingy?
That you have to avoid me?
Maybe you’re too busy for me?
Hi Guys,
So… Yeah I’m here… Yay? So yeah… Um yeah…
A lot has happened to me… I started talking to an adult about my problems so that’s good… Bad thing… It’s someone that’s not related… I mean I guess it’s not that bad but I don’t know….
How am I? Physically: Could be better Mentally: Could be tons better
My physical state… I don’t know…
My mental state…. Suicidal thoughts are taking over….
I’m sorry this is short… It’s been a rough day…
Here’s your poem:
i don’t know much
im afraid to speak my mind
im afraid to say
im afraid so much
i don’t know a lot
all i […]
im trapped in this life of mine
i want to yell my feelings out
i want to sob and cry and i don’t know
im trapped in this world of mine
i want to express my feelings
i want to tell someone anyone
im trapped in this mind of mine
i want to not be afraid
i want to be happy
Hi Guys,
Um… Might not be posting anymore… Soooo… Sorry…
Au Revoir
let me go
why do you care
just let me go
please
i might need to go
i feel suicidal right now
can i turn to you
no not really
you’re busy
and i can’t
because you’re depressed too
and you come before me
and i dont matter
so let me go
i dont know
why you care
maybe you do
maybe you dont
how should i know?
why stop me? why do you care? why can’t i just go? why?
Hi Guys,
I don’t feel well… I feel suicidal… So suicidal… So depressed and sad I don’t know what to do…
How am I? Physically: Broken Mentally: Broken
My physical state… It’s just not the best right now… I have no cuts… Well not yet… Maybe later tonight my body will have a few… But who knows? Maybe I’ll be pathetic and not cut… I just don’t know… I don’t feel well… I don’t feel like I deserve to live… I’m in so much pain… So many tears… Why should I live when I’m in so much pain? Can’t I go?
My mental state… It’s just too broken […]
Maybe if I told you
The real truth
You would care
Maybe if I told you
How I really am
You would care
Maybe if I told you
What was really happening
You would care
Maybe if I told you
How I really felt
You would care
Maybe if I told you
Everything
You would stay
i can’t take it anymore
i don’t know how to cope
this isn’t a goodbye
i hate goodbyes
but this is close to it
i don’t know guys
itd be so much easier
than to keep fighting
to just submit
into the darkness
its getting to too much
i don’t really have anyone
to talk to about these things
i mean yeah i have friends
but they don’t know the whole story
and i don’t want to tell them
and my parents yeah i could tell them
but then id have to sit down and have
a long talk with them and i can’t do […]
Why do you care?
Why do you stay here?
Why do you comfort me?
Why do you try to help me?
Why do you try to tell me lies about myself?
Why do you try to prevent me from cutting?
Why do you think I should stay here?
Why?!
so many things
swirling in my head
so many questions
wondering in my head
so many thoughts
drifting in my head
so many secrets
locked up in my head
so many feelings
caged inside in my head
so many wishes
wanting to be real in my head
so many things imagined
wishing to be realistic in my head
so many things
in my head
Hi Guys,
I guess my life is getting too boring to keep writing these things… So sorry… I might not continue this… I don’t know… So… Might not continue with this… Sorry.
Normal day routine.. Get up and stuff. Except one of my friends and I got into this little mini fight about my weight and I just don’t know. I mean I just don’t know guys… I just… I’ve never liked how I looked. I never loved what my body shape was. And now I’m expected to suddenly love it? And I just don’t know guys…
And ugh. One of my friends just keep threatening me […]
i need you
but i can’t tell you that
i need you to be here
but you’re busy
but i need you to comfort me
but you’re busy with important things in your life
i need you to be here
like you promised
you promised that you would be there
but you’re not
and now i feel broken
i don’t know
maybe i deserve it
maybe im not that important
i guess im not
i don’t know your side of the story
but i need you
but you aren’t here
you broke your promise
that you’ll be there for me
where are you now?
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