Day 15

Hi Guys,

I guess my life is getting too boring to keep writing these things… So sorry… I might not continue this… I don’t know… So… Might not continue with this… Sorry.

Normal day routine.. Get up and stuff. Except one of my friends and I got into this little mini fight about my weight and I just don’t know. I mean I just don’t know guys… I just… I’ve never liked how I looked. I never loved what my body shape was. And now I’m expected to suddenly love it? And I just don’t know guys…

And ugh. One of my friends just keep threatening me I mean yeah I guess it’s for my own good, but I get so scared and I just don’t know. I don’t know a lot of things right now…

Well on the bright side I am getting new glasses tomorrow!!! Which is exciting because that means I don’t have school! I don’t have school tomorrow! Which is cool and exciting so that’s good.

How am I? Physically: Sore Mentally: My mind is crazy right now.

My physical state… I thought my headaches were going to go, but no… And *sigh* I want to cut so badly… But I can’t!!! I don’t know why… But I need to… But I can’t… And it’s hurting me more and more…

My mental state… I had a dream last night… My light at the end of the tunnel killed themselves and I woke up in tears… My mental state right now is terrible and I just don’t know anymore…

So here’s your poem:

i don’t know anymore
i don’t know how to cope
i don’t know where my place is
i don’t know what im supposed to do
i don’t know anything right now in this moment
i don’ know anymore

Here’s another one:

i want to
so badly
kill another butterfly
its so tempting
just a small one
i have the scissors right here
with me
they’re in my hand
i want to
but i can’t
i need to
but i can’t
i dont know
anymore

Au Demain