I am really having a hard time right now; this past week I’ve been keeping myself fully occupied with asking people to keep me from being alone (everyone goes out of their way and does so in a heartbeat) with times spent in between writing to others I’ve ‘met’ here. There’s no relief… I mean, I put myself out there in an attempt to feel some connection but no matter how much I try, or how others try, I still feel numb… worse possibly. I never expected anything in the first place but I guess I just need to write this out right now and […]
Let’s cut to the chase… no one really cares. Yesterday I asked my friend, the only one who knows how badly I want to die, how he’d feel if I told him that I was going away and never returning… never contacting him again. I’m not about to whine to you because my girlfriend stabbed me in the back or because I never got the pony my poor ass family could never buy me… actually, in most ways, I have it pretty ‘together’ and most people who “know” me wouldn’t get that I’ve wanted my life to end every day for the past 11+ years. […]