Author

lostsoulblanklife

I just need to have hope in myself, I need a real and strong life.

Confused

by lostsoulblanklife 11/20/2015

written by lostsoulblanklife

Do you ever just sit down, zone out, and think about how weird life is? I mean, we are all living off of our brain. Our brain controls what we do, how we behave. Our bones, muscles, skin.. Those are just the extras.

I’ve met someone. He isn’t the most loved guy in our grade. He told me he was scared. People are starting to hurt him PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY. He is so afraid of everyone. I’ve realized that so many people are so damn negative and I don’t understand anymore! It’s fucking 2015! How much longer do we have to struggle through this?

11/20/2015 1 comment

It’s been a while.

by lostsoulblanklife 5/20/2015

written by lostsoulblanklife

Hello everybody.

In my other posts, I do not think I made myself as clear as I wanted to. To me it’s a miracle I’m still here. Still breathing. Still fighting. A couple of weeks ago, I lost my best friend. She said I was too sad for her well-being. How selfish can one be? How inconsiderate?

I’m not surprised I feel like this. I feel like I’m at the breaking point. I feel hopeless not only about my social life but also because of my skin condition. I haven’t mentioned this in the other posts. I have acne. Acne that I can cover up with makeup, […]

5/20/2015 2 comments

November 19th, 2014.

by lostsoulblanklife 1/24/2015

written by lostsoulblanklife

November 19th, 2014 was my first suicide attempt. I’ve been suicidal ever since 1st grade. I’ve been suffering for 10 motherfucking years.

November 19th, was the day. Right before school, I ran up to my parents’ bathroom. I was about to brush my teeth, when it hit me. I looked to my left. There it was. The cabinet door was open. Full of pills. In the moment, I wasn’t thinking. They were right there. Uselessly sitting there. I slowly crept over to the cabinet. Looked at which bottle had more pills. Of course I wasn’t thinking of the details, what they were, what they could do […]

1/24/2015 1 comment

Rejuvenation.

by lostsoulblanklife 1/24/2015

written by lostsoulblanklife

I’d like to reconsider my life. Find someone that I could speak to, someone that I could really pour my soul out to. I need someone that will care for me, caress me, hold me when I’m crying. Not a guidance councillor, not my parents or family, but someone.. A stranger. A stranger that understands. A stranger that will wipe away the drops of water rolling down my cheek. A stranger that will love me. A stranger that will not leave me stranded in a room full of depression. I need someone to look at me in the eyes, and tell me that I’m beautiful.

I am […]

1/24/2015 3 comments

My life ; update

by lostsoulblanklife 8/23/2014

written by lostsoulblanklife

I’ve been more depressed these days, listening to sad songs such as;

Youth – Daughter

Who you are – Jessie J

To build a Home – The Cinematic Orchestra

Before You Start Your Day – Twenty One Pilots

Those songs really get to me. They have a huge background, because I used to listen to them two or three years ago when my life was really going downhill.

I’ve met some friends online, but two of them lied to me. But not just a little white lie.. It was like huge ones for both of them.

One of them – Named Lauren – She lied about getting raped, getting pregnant, then being stabbed.. […]

8/23/2014 3 comments

Update ;

by lostsoulblanklife 7/30/2014

written by lostsoulblanklife

I’m still struggling. Suffering every single day, trying to get through this god damn life. Depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts suck.

I just can’t do anything about it.

I’m lost.

I’m hopeless.

I’m desperate for happiness.

And I’m suicidal.

“Pain Demands To Be Felt” – John Green

“I’ve come to learn this world is full of sin” Her Last Words by; Courtney Parker

If you guys are up to helping me, I’d very much appreciate that. Give me advice, on how I should deal with this. Anything will help.

7/30/2014 5 comments