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shaye

Uh hey

by shaye
written by shaye

I keep forgetting about this site

So I’ve actually gotten better. I never thought I would but looks like I did.

I fucked up last night though. I was a mess. It sounds really stupid, but I think the one of the reasons I hadn’t cut for two weeks was because of my bracelets. My bracelets are hard to get off, and I didn’t want to take them off. I was being extremely self destructive, and I can feel that while typing this. My pinkie finger is fucking up bad, mainly because I pretty well crushed it. My arm is burned, because I decided to drip hot […]

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So hey. I haven’t really been on here for months.

by shaye
written by shaye

I haven’t really needed to. See I was still always suicidal (still am), but I stopped cutting like two months ago. But after today’s events, I think i’ll start it up again. You see I was perfectly happy. But there was always something lurking in the shadows, a secret. That secret was revealed today when I got a message. “Yeah your disgusting pervert of a boyfriend has been sending me and my friend nudes and dirty messages for the past month.” I knew something was up. I had a sense that I was being cheated on but he promised he wouldn’t do it again, wouldn’t […]

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Sick.

by shaye
written by shaye

I’m so sick of the people I see everyday. So fucking sick. They are a bunch of souless whores who have nothing better to do then make fun of people and ruin lives. I was the ONLY one in the whole fucking school who cared enough to wear yellow. The ONLY one who knew why today was a day to wear yellow. And people asked, I told them ‘It’s Suicide Awareness Day’. I got LAUGHED at. They said things like ‘suicides for losers,’ and ‘why do you care so much, you suicidal?’ And then I told one of my friends about it, and he’s like […]

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Shocked.

by shaye
written by shaye

So I started school today, and it wasn’t actually horrible. I happened to jump into a conversation about one of my friends dad’s who just died. No one knew how, except for one, and she told us. I was shocked. He had killed himself, a bullet through the head. I hardly knew him, only met him once, and this affected me. Everyone had kept telling him not to do it, he had two daughters. But apparently it got to be too much. I finally realized how much something like that can affect even people who hardly knew you. So.. now I’m not so sure. Anyway, […]

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School Tomorrow…

by shaye
written by shaye

So school starts tomorrow. I’m so not happy about it. I’m losing my best friend to someone who’s just like her, and apparently is so much better than me. Clearly, everyone’s better than me. Last night, I was alone. I could barely breath, I just felt like a huge weight was on my chest. I cut my leg with a razor blade that I’m going to take to school just in case. The past couple days I’ve been numb. I can’t feel a thing. I’m so depressed recently. I’ve stopped eating as much as I used to, and I rarely laugh. I was […]

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