i need friends to help me through this hard time and give me hope tawneesmommy@gmail.com
I let him get away twice because how awful I am. I just want to die and soon. i hate myself so much let me out
keeps trying to take him from me. if he goes to work for his stupid uncle traveling he knows I can’t do that. now he’s gone for two days and I didn’t even know I just want out. how many energy drinks do I have to drink? alcohol will be included in this too
and i don’t know why. my boyfriend is great, I have a decent job and family, and I just feel worthless and want to die again what’s the point
I turned 25 Monday. I feel old. days with my boyfriend go up and down the arguments got bad then I finally stood up for myself and he realized he was close to losing me. I can’t lose him again I just can’t. but the craving for death is always here.. yes I know this made no sense. ps wanted to apologize for never posting my life story, I still keep putting it off
the love of my life is coming home…. I’m so ecstatic. but should I, or how should I tell him that I slept with four guys since he’s been gone? (I didn’t cheat, we weren’t officially together and weren’t talking at these times) two were one night stands, and the other two were exes…
you say you love me and are gonna come get me as soon as you have your own place… but I’m scared it won’t happen and I miss you and you still don’t have a phone and missing you kills me,makes me wish I were just dead. what if you’re just saying that? all I ever am is hurt. now I have first love telling me he loves me and I’ll always love him but I just need you. I fucking need you
I got accused of not being suicidal yesterday because of a post about loving two people. how can people just assume? yes, I am miserable, morbidly depressed, very bipolar and BPD and a bunch of other things, but I have had a few good moments. just because a post doesn’t mention that I want to die doesn’t mean I don’t want to die.
how can you say those three small words to me again for the first time in four and a half years? I’m vulnerable. so fucking vulnerable. I’ve known you going on ten years, you were my first love, and we never fully got over it and always find our way back to each other in the most random of ways. I love Ryan so much. but now here you are again. ever since we were fifteen it’s been there. you have me so damn confused. make it stop, make it stop.
I’m so sick of being worthless and blown off. I’ll never be good enough for anyone
since I fell in love with my soul mate. but of course I fuck up everything I ever have going for me… I did that three fucking months ago and it feels like it never even happened. I hate myself so much
living alone… not knowing if my love will ever be back… I just wanna die.
elyayamama.tumblr.com
the person that i once was died… and left behind a shell of depression… everything I do fails…. I’m all alone, I use drugs to try to kill the pain..
it’s come to this. see some of y’all in the after life
he won’t talk to me, won’t realize how much I love him and care, has his head so far up his sperm donor’s ass, my family and ‘friends’ ignore me, even my cries for help. I am surprised they haven’t repo my car yet. so here’s what I got. I’ve done lots of research so it should work. pure caffeine powder, iron pills, Aleve, diphenhydramine, caffeine pills, lamictal… an overdose of just a single one of those could be lethal according to what I have learned, so let’s hope this cocktail works. maybe then people I know will realize that this isn’t the way […]
gotta wait for my package then after Saturday four days off so shouldn’t have interruptions unless my stupid parents decide to send me to the stupid hospital. then i have to wait a few weeks till my dad goes in vacation I’ll use his garage. I hate ryans stupid dad he took away the one thing I had that ever made me happy and brain washed him and made him crazy. the only thing I have are my cats and I can’t even take care of them because I’m crazy. I’m stuck here all alone because his stupid dad took him from me I have […]
I don’t know anything nothing I feel so fucking crazy and out of control i don’t know what happened the other night I chain smoked three black and mild I’ve never chain smoked before my whole body’s been shaking for three days something’s wrong with my cats Elmo is starting to go bald on his back and it scares me they have vet appointment Friday i have no friends I’m scared for Ryan I probably ruin everything like I always do I don’t know what to think I’ve never never had anxiety before until he first left my first anxiety attack scared me and i […]
I need to get Ryan out of there. we have little contact, because his phone broke. he is the one I love most in this world. I wake up crying every single day and I feel like he feels trapped. I pray for him multiple times a day even after saying God doesn’t exist. I try to contact Ryan from his dad’s phone, only to have his dad tell me to never call or text his phone again. my parents don’t care about my problems, I pushed all my friends away, I have nobody that really wants to be around me anymore because I’m so […]
how do I know when there are comments on threads I commented on or threads I have started.. even if I click subscribe I don’t get anything… is there a place on this site I can see it all
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