I can’t stop crying.
I mean I stop for like a minute and cry again.
First thing I did when I wake up, was cried.
I wish everything was just a bad dream.
But it is the truth.
I lost a very good friend, cause I am being to honest.
I know I put him in a very hard situation, he did what he has to.
He promised not to turn back on me but
My heart is already broken yet it breaks again.
Cause I know he won’t be there for me anymore.
I think it is better if we never see each other […]
I told him I have a feeling for him.
Now he is stepping back and nothing can change his mind.
Well, he does what he has to, I guess.
Things won’t be the same again, no one gonna come pick up when I am drunk, no one will be there to listen to my things anymore.
I lost him, forever.
I feel like throwing myself from a bridge.
I told him I will not doing something stupid but I know I can’t help.
I have no one but me to blame for this, he said feelings are things that can’t be control, he said blame […]
So like an hour ago, I got a visit from 2 of my best friends here in Oxford.
One of them is a girl. Another is a boy, which if you read my last post, my crush.
I told them, I was drunk while I was in the State, I know I promise them not to get drunk again after that night in Oxford. They were pretty mad, which of course, they have absolutely right to, I deserve that.
They began to preaching me about being depress, choice to get drunk blah blah blah
And then they asked, why I have to be depress? when has this begin?
You know […]
Don’t know if it relevant, but needed some advice.
I just got back from Boston. I live in Oxford, UK.
I am coming back to Oxford to face another problem of mine.
I have a best friend, we only be together about like 3 months but he is so nice to me.
A few weeks ago, I was drunk, really drunk. I didn’t remember much thing, apparently I texted him to come to pick me up. It was 1.30 am. He came, took me all the way back from the city centre to my room, put me in bed. The next morning, Â I found out about everything. He couldn’t […]
That is very contrast.
Suicide and Catholic?
I go to church every sunday, I attend the mass as much as I could. I am a very good catholic, am I?
Still I am a suicidal.
I tried to commit suicide for like 10 times or something? I ended up 3 times in the emergency room, 2 times in ICU. But still, I am alive.
Everybody say, God doesn’t want you to die, yeah, right.
I have been suffered from major depression disorder, mean been taking medicine for the last 5 years. That doesn’t help a lot, I guess. I still feel depress and wanna commit […]