Y me?! Y is it always fuckin me?! Â Once again I’m sick as a dog… I can just barely get my ass out of bed to go to the bathroom or eat… My tonsils r swollen to almost blocking my airways, I’m gaging on them, coughing, and have a fever at 106…. We cant brake my fever and my dad hates hospitals almost as much as i do.. This happens every month 2-3 times… Ill get so sick i wont even get out of bed… My mamas bf will have to carry me upstairs to the couch so they can watch me, i hate […]
Omfg i screwed… Stupid me just made a promise i know i wont b able to keep… I promise my friend whom i call my sister Ember that i wouldn’t cut till my birthday not even on my birthday and i mean its not that far but to me it feels like a eternity my bday is on the 16th this month.. And every year since i was 6 years old i would cut my hip (where the bone is) and i would cut deep enough i would almost need stitches but not deep enough that it would leave a scar.. But i would dip […]
So i faced my worse fear.. But the so called “vacation” i suppose to have fun on didn’t go as i planned… When i got to Ontario the first 2 days was relaxing and sorta fun. I hadn’t relaxed in a long time it was nice but after that my depression took a spiraling turn for the worst… I got extremely depressed i couldn’t even find the strength to play with my 2 year old baby brother Jayson whom was plastered to my side the whole time i was there… When we got home a week later i started to loosen up and relax.. But […]
Tomorrow at 3 inthe morning Alberta time I have to face oneoff my worse fears…me and my family r flying to Ontario and I have a deathly fear of planes.. I’ve heard to many bad things about them. But we r flying to Ontario our flight leaves at 7 in the morning butim scared to go through security and to get on the plain.. My moms bf says that the plane istotally safe but im still scared to go on the plane idk wat to do…Knowing me ill probably freak out… Im scared to be on one airplane with lots of people idk…. Â idk wat […]
Y me huh y? All o my friends r trying to get me to stop cutting, they all say “Its easy just stop its not that hard!” but its easier said then done. I’d love to just drop the knife and walk away, but its hard for me to stop. But it only takes 1 little thing to upset me. Most people find it stupid that i get upset easily but i cant help it.. I cant stop cutting yet so many people want me to.. I just cant find the will power to stop..
Sticks and stones may brake my bones but words tare my skin apart
Suicide isn’t cowardly. U wanna know wat is cowardly? Treating someone so bad that they want to end their life.
The light was to bright so she hid from the sun. In her dark place she held the gun. Tight in her hand. She closed her eyes, held her breath waiting to face death. She had been teased and taunted for to long.. She couldn’t stand it anymore.In perfect position, the gun   Well   loaded. Raising the gun to her head running from life, family, friends, enemies, choosing death she pulled the […]
Some people may skim, not look at this post or think I’ve gone insane.. But for the past few nights I’ve been having vivid nightmares.. The same ones continuing every night. Where someone i love takes me and touchers me, beats me, and cuts my sides open with a pocket knife not sharp but sharp enough to make my sides bleed. After they would bandage me, wait for it to heal and do it all over again. Its really scary but one of my friends said “Meg ur ok its just a dream, its not actually happening you’ll b fine” Â To him that maybe […]
Im really scared… Im going to camp today for a week… Wat if i cant make friends cause I’m to shy … Wat if no one likes me… Wat if people see my cuts and scars …. Wat if people judge my appearance? All these things keep swirling around in my head.. I’ve been to this camp every year since i was 7 but i wasn’t depressed or cutting b4 i was 12.. The staff know me quite well but theres always new kids… Idk wat to do -.- Â /:
Before when i joined this site a little while ago (cant remember when) people would hardly if never comment on people thingy ma giggers… But now people r really nice… People r giving out E-Mails so if zed/a person needs somethin they  can E-Mail to talk its nice to know their r some nice people on this site!!!!
Finally!!Â
Ok idk if anyone in this site cares but my mum finally is listening to me. Life before was horrible i was depressed sad and was cutting my legs.. My mum found out about my cutting and was kinda mad at first but after she calmed down she said that i was going with her to the doctor so he can see wats wrong with me.. Im kinda scared.. Cause i usually dont tell anyone about my OCD, Anxiety (Separation) , and Panic attacks.. But she wants to make sure that I’m healthy.. But i lost another friend today.. Oh well i don’t need any […]
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