Mgababa

The worst thing to have ever happened to me is being born. I have no reason to believe in God but part of me wishes he existed so I would have someone to blame for this catastrophe. I wish someone would answer these questions. Why am I forced to take part in life. Why am I thrusted into existence when I’m not equipped to thrive? Did I have to be extremely stupid, ugly and have no useful talents?

Now I’d like to end it all but I’m afraid of the pain that I have to endure in order to finally achieve the peace of […]

I am what I am and what I am is what triggers how I feel, I feel like I’m chained to this catastrophic period aka life.

Being slow, stupid, ugly means I’ll forever be subjected to rejection, judgment, bullying and sadness.

People constantly tell me to believe in myself but question is for what reason? It’s only sensible to believe in something for a reason, it would be dilusional to believe that you can flap your arms and fly.

I still don’t have what my heart desires, and all I desire is comfort, security, my own family respect, my limitations ensured that […]

Yes i held on. I held on hoping things to get better, what it that do for me? It prolonged the suffering, I held on only to experience an intense fucking unending pain. Before 2016, I had nothing to live for, I no job; no education; no love life and my mother was all I had. My poor mother who had to carry th burden of a thirty something years old useless individual. What did “holding on” do for me? I still have no job and I’m aging, my country’s economy is depressing; I have no education therefore there is no hope for a change […]

Let’s look at it this way. How would you advice somebody who has been on an abusive relationship since the relationship has begun? Would you tell them to hang in there and hope their partner would change for the better? Would you tell them that the abuse is only temporary? Would you tell them to appreciate the simple things that the abuser does for them and forget about the abuse. Would you call them cowards for contemplating a breakup? Would you accuse them of being selfish and not considerate of their partner and other people involved in their relationship.

Life is like that abuser. I need […]