So I went to the shrink today… But those words, which once seemed so wise, have now gone to being boring and tiring. I felt absolutely nothing. Just sat there and smiled and nodded, but I was completely empty inside.
Now I’m just sitting here, wanting to end my own life. I know nothing is going to happen, unless I do something, but sometimes I want to die so bad, I hoping that when I go to sleep, I will not wake up the next day. This is one of those situations. I’ll look around my room, touch my books for the last time, hear […]
When I was younger, I thought it was cool to have suicidal thoughts. I craved the attention and loved how people saw my ‘pain’. I forced myself to think things like, taking to many pills and hanging myself or whatever, but I guess I never really understood the meaning, because I never wondered what would happen to me after that. As I grew older, I changed from what you might call ‘Emo-style’, to look like a happy, tanned girl, with blonde hair. I could […]
I refuse to let whoever the fuck is running things up there, the satisfactions of watching me, suffer, wither and die an early death by suicide. I refuse to give up, even though I have all the odds against me, even though I can’t love myself, cause there’s always regression to the mean; Things can’t always be good, but they can’t always be bad either, it has to mean out. I refuse to let my future loved ones down, by swallowing the pills in my hand. I refuse to give up on myself; i refuse to die unhappy, alone and young. I’ll fight […]
Mirror, Mirror, what a boring day
and yet I have so much to say.
I do nothing but sit here alone in the dark,
maybe I’m waiting for someone to steal my heart?
Mirror, Mirror I’m so sick of you,
can’t you just show me something that isn’t true?
Beauty, perfection and smiles is all that’s in,
so that’s why I feel like my body is committing a sin.
Because I’m not beautiful, nor do I smile.
And I definitely don’t have any style.
At least that what they shout at me at school
and I understand, I’m not a fool.
But why does it has […]
Mirror, mirror, on my wall,
I just want to be thin, pretty and tall
Mirror, mirror, if I change my hair,
maybe someone will start to care?
Mirror, mirror, if I starve myself,
at least I’ll be beautiful, forget my health.
Mirror, mirror, if I cut my wrist
will I feel like I exist?
Mirror, Mirror, don’t you see?
What you show, is ruining me.
For far too long it had watched her cry,
so the mirror decided to reply:
“What you think you see? It isn’t true.
This misery is found inside of you.
Don’t lock yourself in a broken soul,
or I promise […]
Humans are very bad at making decisions. And I’m no exception. Even though I haven’t decided weather or not I will go for the big and final exit or not, I’m already on my way. Unconsciously, I’ve already started to wither. Smoking is obviously bad and sometimes I wonder if I’m going to get lung-cancer one day. The lung-cancer part doesn’t scare me – but the fact that I couldn’t care less, really freaks me out.
That’s one of me biggest problems now days; I simply don’t care. I don’t care if won’t graduate, I don’t care if my pets gonna die and I don’t care if […]