Fat. Awkward. Uncomfortable. Would love for it to end. To find peace with myself.
I was manic when we started dating. That’s what the drs say. I had lost weight, was happy, wanted to stay up so late and have sex all the time. I moved In with him. He fell In love with me. Then I crashed. So low I thought of suicide constantly. I’ve never been manic or this low before. I feel as if I’ve created him. I’m not who I was. Gained weight. Ugly. Stupid. I feel so sorry for him. I should move out so he can find a good person for him. I’ve told him that and he says he wants me, […]
I feel bad again. Those bad thoughts so many times a day. On meds. Guess I’m just screwed up. I just want to sleep! World, let me please!
I don’t know why they have to be so damn mean.
I’m 40 years old. It shouldn’t feel like high school at work. They say to get my shit straight so I can work full time again. I am trying my hardest. I’m sorry I’m not as “perfect” as you
I HATE my illness. I hate it controls me. Tired of ups and downs
I was started on lithium and gabapentin I’m the psych ward and have had crazy shakiness ever since. I’m also on Zoloft, seraquel and trazadone. I stopped the lithium and gab cold turkey about a week ago but still have the shakes. Makes me want to blow my head off. I didn’t take seraquel last night to see if it helps but I wasnt able to sleep but 1&1/2. Anybody else have this problem? What do I do? Feel like I’m going crazy… again
Sighing out….
I hate mirrors. No I just fuckin hate what’s looking at me when I look at one. Disgusting. Just fuckin disgusting
I’m tired of being uncomfortable in my own skin. Of being embarrassed of who I am. Pulling everyone down. I’m a waste of space. Everyone moves on. So why can’t I just do it? Step in front of that truck or swallow the pills?