So Im kind of tired of talking to girls and then them saying how much they like me and stuff and then them saying well Im talking to someone else. Im a girl, I like girls. I wish I was straight though because all these girlsÂ don’tÂ know what they want or get jealous of my best friend who is a gay guy. It’s justÂ aggravating, I guess. Am I doing something wrong?
Oka’y, now shes my ex’s friend. She is also friends with my Ex’s girlfriend and I just need some feedback on our conversation
Me: Hey, Im bored
Her: Well, get a life
Me: I have a life, Im just bored right now
Her: Im sorry youre a loser
Wanna go to the movies with me sometime?
Me: LMAO WHAT
Her: Cant you read?
Me: No I just feel like your fucking with me so Im laughing
Her: Why would I do that?
Me: Because It sounds like you duh?
Her: So its a no then?
Me: What movie…LOL
Her: IDC what movie
Me: Cant we just go back to you insulting me and stop asking me to go places with you
Her: Fine….Lets go see this new movie “Go Fuck yourself, I hate you”
Me: LMAO Sounds Violent. Are you being for real with me right now?
Her: Yeah, dead serious, We can double date with Candace and Danielle….(my exs gf and my ex)
Her: WHY NOT
Me: Because Im lame….I dont know.
Her: Yeah….good point…nvm I dont want to go to the movies with you
Me: I assumed you didnt want to from theÂ beginning
Her: I only associate with cool people
I told her she suprised me and she asked me how and I said by asking and I also said I felt like I was being set up and she asked how and I said I dont know just do and she said well I was just asking because I think you have a huge crush on me…who could blame you and I said I dont play glames if I liked her, Id tell her and she said 10-4 good night…..can someone tell me if she really wanted to go, or if I was just being fucked with. Because I kind of do like the girl, I wouldnt mind going to a movie with her.
When your parents raise you one way, but act another. I was raised to never beg anyone to stay. And be optimistic. Things can always get worse. I was raised to love and forgive but always know what you deserve and my dad is doing the completeÂ oppositeÂ and asking me to do the same. Im over this shit. Im not begging, Im not saying sorry, mostly because Im not wrong. He wants to say oh “You and her ruined my life” Like are you fucking kidding me, IveÂ sacrificedÂ my pride for you to fucking be with your wife but its my fault? Â God! And you know what….I wish I could talk to my other best friend about this but I cant because shes my ex and we dont talk anymore because she lied to me about being in love with me. I miss her and I wish we could just be friends but theres no fucking trust, so I’ll just stay away until I fucking forget it all.
I just got out of a relationship 3 to 4 months ago and 2 months after we broke up, my ex hadnt given me any of the answers I needed to move on, so I asked all kinds of questions and the truth came out. She never was in love with me, we shouldnt have happened, she knew for months before she broke up with me how she felt and it was a mistake. I was with this girl for almost a year. You have to understand something about me, I dont do “relationships”. I dont like people alot. Im not a player, but I really just dont find any interesting people. I have alot of confidence, well, I used to. Ive been kind of fake here lately, I guess, which is hard for me to say because Im usually so honest. But I have no confidence. I act like I do, I act like everything is fine when its not. I smile, I laugh but no one knows my dads wife left him and now every morning I wake up and hear him cry. Thats what woke me up this morning. No one knows that every time I see my ex, my heart beats fast in my chest and I always feel worse after seeing her. No one knows Ive been fighting the urge to cut, or hurt myself in some way more and more lately. In all honesty the urge to cut isnt from the girl, its from everything else, the fakeness and she adds on to it all. All everyone sees is me, and all the girls hanging out with me and flirting with me…living the dream right? Wrong.
You ever just listen to the silence? Here lately Ive been doing that. Usually, its music, its always been music. I let music fill up the quite spaces and now I cant get enough of the quite spaces. Its like the only thing that calms me down is laying in my bed, breathing, maybe checkingÂ FacebookÂ or reading some stories on this website, in silence byÂ myselfÂ just does it for me. I feel so at ease in the silence. I love music but here lately it hasnt beenÂ releasingÂ all the stress I feel. I feel so at ease here, right now. Calm and relaxed and its hardly ever that I feel this way
I think I like someone and I used to not like her because she seemed reallyÂ immatureÂ and I justÂ didn’tÂ like her butÂ we’veÂ been talking off and on for two weeks and I just love her sense of humor. IÂ don’tÂ really know, IÂ don’tÂ want to Â like her, IÂ don’tÂ really have time for a relationship and IÂ don’tÂ want one, I just got out of one 3 to 4 months ago and maybe IÂ don’tÂ really want to be with her but maybe I just like her sense of humor and personality. Â I’mÂ 18, shes 30. I reallyÂ don’tÂ want to like her or enjoy her personality or even really be her friend. I have such a defenseÂ mechanismÂ because IÂ don’tÂ want to get hurt, I probably trust 3 people in my life, 2 being my dad and best friend. And IÂ don’tÂ trust her but I wish I could.Â I’mÂ not even sure if she likes me, we kind of have this banter back and forth; I’ll make a joke on her expense and she’ll do the same to me. She gave me a ride home tonight and I came in took a shower and talked with my dad for a while and went to go check my phone and she asked had IÂ gottenÂ home okay? And of course she knew I had and I realized, damn, I was so busy picking on her, I forgot to thank her, so I tell her thank you and she says anytime, if shes around and puts a smiley face and we talk for an hour with no banter, I hope she likes me, but then IÂ don’t.Â I’mÂ a deeply screwed up individual. Thoughts anyone? If you can help yourself, pleaseÂ don’tÂ comment on the age, if you cant help yourself, it’ll be okay, I suppose.
My dad is depressed andÂ I’mÂ a little worried about him. IÂ don’tÂ know why I feel the fear I do of losing him to this depression but I am scared. The last two nights he has come home late and been drinking,, not hardÂ liquorÂ just beer, but if you knew my father,Â you’dÂ know, before the depression he might of drank one beer every 7 to 8 months ( notÂ exaggerating) Â his depression has struck a cord in me and In worrying about him I kind of worry about myself. IÂ don’tÂ mean to sound selfish, because I am not but if suicide were on his mind and he went through with it (though I do not know if it is on his mind) where would I be? Could I, Would I survive it?Â There is a heaviness in my heart tonight, a worry and I wish it would go away, because yes, I have survived many things, but where oh, where would I be without my dad. He raised me, hes the only parent in my life, I need suggestions to help him, yesÂ I’veÂ been depressed,Â I’veÂ been down a dark road but I never had anyone pull me out of it, I did it myself and now I need to help him. I need help.
There was a time years ago when I was so depressed, I cried myself to sleep every night but everyday, I smiled. I was a clown whoÂ couldn’tÂ wash off her make-up. I didnt really know myself, a girl I was “in love” with broke my heart, lied to me and led me on. And yes, it sent me further into depression. I did some drugs, pills. I drank some, vodka. But really, what depressed me the most is everyone thought I was fine and looking back now, I know thats what really bothered me. My family thought I was fine, hell, everyone thought I was fine. I cut myself, a good few times. I still remember the relief. I have the scars today to prove it. I dont reallyÂ rememberÂ what happened to wake me up, to make my life meaningful again. I’ll be honest, I dont remember having a giant moment of clarity. I just know I overcame. I prevailed. Today, I am not the happiest girl in the world, I am alot happier than I used to be;I dont cut. I wont go back to that. Things happen to me and I cry and every once in a while the thought will cross my mind like a longÂ forgottenÂ sin, but I refuse, IfÂ you’reÂ struggling now, I understand how you feel. But also, I know, if you let yourself be happy you will be. Spend some time learning yourself, learning to love yourself…I know, I know, it sounds lame, but it works.