I suffer from pain attcaks, although i have not had one for quite a long time, i quite often feel shakey and un easy. i really feel very very vunrable and scared.
Â
I just want this to end.
Â
I feel like i have lost everything, like i have nothing. I feel like everyone hates me. I hate everyone, i want them to know how i feel , but they scare me.
I’m scared of everyone.
someone help please
somebody told me the other day, completely randomly – he started asking me why i stopped working on sundays. was it because i didnt get on with the other girl?? no, i didnt want to work then anymore. he then went on to act supprised, “o, cos i dont think [the other girl] likes you very much” because she thinks i’m lazy and unabitious… thats not true, i’ts dish washing!!! who tries that hard anyway?? i made some kind of joke about it to my this other not-very-close-friend on facebook (social network thingy) like (yeah youre not missing me- nither is ____ acording to ____). and then […]
i had an awful one, after falling out with my mother (see previous post “falling out”) i decided to take the sertraline. at first i just felt sick, i wanted to throw up, but everytime i tryiedto nothinghappened, i kept chokingand gagging. (sorry). then i started to lose my vision. it went all blury. so i started to walk around a little, just around the house. but my legs were shaking from my weight, i was all weak.
i didnt sleep much that night, i was ill and soo tired, but i was too nevous to sleep. i’m going camping with my friend next week and i’m […]
i told my mum earlier that i wanted her to die, it was a bit irrational an obviously i didnt mean it. she took my laptop away from me, for which i already didnt have the internet on. i flipped out, i dont know why. i just went crazy and started to cry. i cant live without the freaking thing!! i’d have to sit in my room and actually live my life. and for years the internet has become something that helps me escape from my “life”.
Â
she rubbed it in though. “you dont know what its like to have someone that close to you die” […]
there have been lots of times when i have been depressed, i cry sometimes. like uncontrolably for hours, but that hasnt happened in a while. i usually do that when i know no one can hear me, because i dont think they would really get it. like most people i know they turn around and go “well you have it a lot better than some.” my best friend, and in some ways my only friend called me a spoilt bratt, when i was depressed on monday. thats why i dont trust her enough to talk to her, thats why i’m here.
i dont sound all “woe […]
in responce to that first comment on my last blog (sorry about the spelling): i didnt mean for it to sound like i was competing, or even to insinuate that this is, somehow a competion. just that i got the feeling that my last post was being pooh- poohed as unimportat. any way. i cant talk to my friend (we’re 17), thats really the whole problem, i dont know how to express my self (hense competition thing), i either underestimate the whole situation, and then people dont belive me, or i go ott, and end up getting really defensive.Â
i cant talk to my mum or dad, […]
ok. last post was a little vague i guess.
i was sexually abused when i was 6 till i was about 7/8 ish, by some boys in my primary school. (i’m a girl). I am absoulutly terified of people touching me now, anywhere. i csnt really get close to peoplr, obviously i have trust issues. when i get upset, depressed – i cant talk to anyone, my friend gets really anoyed and angry. she says i act like a spoilt brat, and i make her think we’re not really best friends. i told her about what happened to me. doesnt really look like she took it […]
i’m alone, and i dont think anyone would miss me if i died.
i hate myself.
i have no one. i’m 17 and i’m STILL a virgin, i hate me.
Please log in to report posts