My home town was always seen as a beautiful city.
the easten purl, the star of the east, a famous port, one of the high tech mordern cities in Asia…
But behind all these beautiful titles, was a dark shadow, a dark truth.
Through their education, how many childrens and teens like myself have attempted, or commited suicide?
In this city, people who don’t get in university was viewed as useless, a wast of space. The only purpous to live in here, is to win, or be those who was useless and meaningless.
Yet, they setted up so many laws to prevent teens from commiting […]
There are many times in the past I’ve wanted to cut, to hurt myself… But I didn’t. Because I’m afraid.
Now I cut, I slashes across my skin to creat scars… But now I’m afraid of what would become of me… What would my future be.
I’m such a coward… Afraid of everything, I don’t even dare to go deeper with my razor… Only because I’m afraid, of being found out, and afraid of the unknown amount of pain… Waiting for me in the future.
I’m scared of pain… But I love pain.
I’m scared of blood, but I’m fascinated by it.
I’m such a coward.
I was always a loner, I am just the girl who would sit in the corner and read alone, having only a few friends. I’m also one to have a lot of secrets and put on layers and layers of masks, to hide the brocken form and tears… and soon, I nolonger know how to cry, how to laugh from my heart, or how to smile truely. I hide away behind the walls, and isolated myself even more to protect what’s left of me, to protect my thick fire walls and masks. And due to those suppressed emotions, I always have a problem with my […]
It’s just two days ago… I cut myself on my own right wrist. And today, there are over 20 cuts on each of my wrists.