Author

notsurehey

I'm a female student trying to deal with depression

I’m back

by notsurehey 10/26/2014

written by notsurehey

Sigh… I never thought I’d be back on this site… after I finally built up the courage to actually speak to my mother and tell her about my suicide thoughts and depression.. but my mother being the religious woman she is (ironic) prayed and since I cut myself off from religion.. I just sat in since while she did and took the advice I got from amazing people on this site..
I went out, I did new things, made new friends… it got better after a while.. until a few days ahgo.

A brief description of me:
I’m a social person, I use humor as a […]

10/26/2014 4 comments

uhm okay?

by notsurehey 9/9/2014

written by notsurehey

I just told my mother that I didn’t feel like eating at all today (it’s 5:25pm where I am) and her response: ‘oh ok.. I’m gna go have supper’ …..
When did this become the norm?

9/9/2014 7 comments

question

by notsurehey 9/9/2014

written by notsurehey

Can somebody who is depressed “make an effort to try to be happy again”?
Even if it’s really difficult and I’m done pretending

9/9/2014 6 comments

crying

by notsurehey 9/8/2014

written by notsurehey

I’m so sad all the time… all I want to do is cry, it’s gotten so bad that I can’t control the tears anymore..
What’s wrong with me??? I need help.. but how? I tried telling my mom Im depressed.. but I couldn’t.. because she’ll ignore it and tell me to power through my phase.. I guess that’s what they should end off with at my funeral; she powered through

9/8/2014 5 comments

gee i don’t know anymore

by notsurehey 9/8/2014

written by notsurehey

I can barely talk to you…
I can’t even say a word to you…
If I were to commit suicide.. you would be the main reason why I no longer want to be on this earth… open mother daughter relationship? Lol yeah totally.. we can’t even talk about the weather.. I hate u… your a *****.. thank you that I’m able to talk to u about being so depressed.. oh wait… I can’t.. because it’s “just a phase”.. a phase that’s been going on for a while.. thank you mom.. I love life so much.. I’m not sad.. I’m so hard working.. I’m gna be […]

9/8/2014 4 comments

why am I not happy?

by notsurehey 9/7/2014

written by notsurehey

I have an amazing guy in my life that I keep pushing away, he does so much for me but why am I still not happy?

I have friends who care and try to help, but I’m still not happy.

My life isn’t perfect, I cry myself to sleep so many nights, all I want to do is die. I think about death all the time, the other morning I wanted to open the car door and roll into traffic, I couldn’t breathe last night, instead of taking my asthma pump I just let it be and closed my eyes…. but I’m still here…

I thought […]

9/7/2014 5 comments

Being hurt

by notsurehey 9/6/2014

written by notsurehey

The feeling of being hurt can not fully be described unless you feel it.. you feel it in your soul, in everything you do.. its around you and eventually becomes you and defines you.

Being hurt cuts like a knife.

Once you feel it so many times, you begin to convince yourself that this is how it’s meant to be for you. That feeling of constant rejection, confession, DISAPPOINTMENT.

Hurt can not be covered up with words. Words fade. But hurt doesn’t. You only learn to live with it but once you learn, your hurt all over again, only this time it’s greater than before… […]

9/6/2014 3 comments

is anybody out there?

by notsurehey 9/6/2014

written by notsurehey

Hi…

just like everybody else on this site.. I was looking for easy ways to kill myself.

Reading the stories and all the comments…makes me feel less alone when it comes to suicide. I had a few attempted suicides that didn’t work, clearly.

But that feeling of depression comes and goes and most times it feels like it just needs to end.

I’m in my 20?s and thought this would never happen to me. Just a day ago I was living on cloud 9, I had it all; an amazing boyfriend and devoting best friend. But my insecurity and past issues caught up with me.. now I have […]

9/6/2014 5 comments