I can barely talk to you…
I can’t even say a word to you…
If I were to commit suicide.. you would be the main reason why I no longer want to be on this earth… open mother daughter relationship? Lol yeah totally.. we can’t even talk about the weather.. I hate u… your a *****.. thank you that I’m able to talk to u about being so depressed.. oh wait… I can’t.. because it’s “just a phase”.. a phase that’s been going on for a while.. thank you mom.. I love life so much.. I’m not sad.. I’m so hard working.. I’m gna be so successful.. did u know I’m failing a subject? I bet I’m just the worst… wish u aborted me hey? That thought probably crossed your mind a few times… every Fucking day I wish that you did.
Yeah dad I’m real perfect now hey.. all broken and dead inside.. one less daughter to brag about.. what you gna tell your friends now? She died saving an old lady? Yeah dad.. perfect little girl gone…
I hate my life so much and you all choose to ignore it.. because I’m a big girl now hey…
I hope I don’t wake up tomorrow morning.. because I’d rather be dead than be a problem.
4 comments
I undertand where you are coming from. Eah night I go to sleep I wish that I wouldnt wake up in this world. Ive had enough pain in my life and dont see much of future for me.
I understand totally
Thank you for understanding… it means so much to know there’s someone out there who feels what it’s like…
Mental illness can be really freakin hard to get support for from parents. At least that’s been my experience. The pressure for perfection and their concept of me as a “successful” individual makes it so hard to be heard when I tell some people in my family that, no, things really are that bad. I hope you have friends or other family members that are more understanding.
All they care about is my success.. no matter how hard I push myself off the cliff it doesn’t matter to them.
An understanding family is only but a distant memory.
As long as I fake a smile and fake a laugh they are happy, even when I said I don’t want to smile anymore, I got told ‘fake it till you believe it’