if you are reading this, well then I’m talking to you.
I think i might be lesbian or at least bi?
its crazy but i think dykes are cool and i would date one but i would call it lesbian (unless the were uncomfortable with me calling them my boyfriend)
idk its all new and i fell for her but i havent seen here and i could have TWICE Â i guess its not meant to be?
fgsgsougfs arrghhh idk im so conflicted
I might be too scared to find a real relationship because I could totally fuck it up. Or maybe not. Everything is all a bunch of maybes. Maybe he likes me. Maybe he doesn’t. Maybe I’m right. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he wants to date. Maybe he’s a real jerk. Just maybe. Or Maybe not. This paradox aggravates me, more than anyone knows.
I see them. The little shadows that crawl around the corner. I see the weird shapes in windows. I see it all. Maybe they are here to keep me company. Maybe they are here to help me. Maybe they are here because they know what it’s like to feel alone when people are all around. They must understand what feeling empty is like. Maybe. Maybe I’m not alone. Or maybe I am. I don’t even know. I keep thinking I want someone, because “It will make it all better” ,but that doesn’t seem to be true. It is just don’t believe that people could actually […]
I feel like i’m losing my friends, family, and most importantly myself. I’m slipping, falling and fading. Â The worst feeling is that i can’t do anything about it.
Everyone says, Â “it will get better” “hold your head up” “its gonna be okay in the end” Eventually it starts to feel better and you can’t remember you’re lows because you are so high on that mountain top. Then you are flushed with memories and pain, it hurts more physically and you fall backwards and hit the ground hard than before. From the outside everyone thinks its easy to get yourself together, but its much harder.
It’s very true. I don’t know how else to put it. I don’t know how to make people understand. Just when I think I move on it has the rubber band effect and it just it pulls and pulls and pulls and then it hits harder than it did before. My family isn’t helping, in fact they make me feel way worse. Maybe I should do it. Maybe i need to do it. I don’t see my reason for being on this earth anymore. I just want someone. I’ve been praying and asking ,but i’m just tired of asking for someone. I need my self […]
I just want to cry. I can’t. I want to be depressed. I can’t. I want to fall apart. I can’t. I don’t miss it, at all. I just… I can’t anymore. My life is pretty steady. Easy going. I laugh, smile, I’m generally happy I just want to break. Fall down. I just can’t cry. I’m not allowed. I won’t let myself. I can’t go back. I’ve learned a lot, seen a lot, done a lot. I just want to be a mess. I know that won’t fix anything. I’ve been holding on. Everyone around me is happy, I’m happy. Why do I want […]
Will I ever find love? Will I? I am the only one up in my house and I’m wondering about life, love, and me. I just wonder if there is something wrong with me. I look around and see happiness and I’m drowning in my own pool of sadness. I seem happy my friends tell me all the time that I seem so happy and perfect. Those words haunt me. Perfect. But the fact-of-the-matter is that I’m truthfully lonely. Really lonely. I just want someone. I know I can’t really spare the heartbreak but it must be nice to have someone hold me when things get […]
I got my first job today and i completely blew it because of my stupid anxiety. I HATE IT! It literally ruins my life like everyday. I’m such a failure and I got in everyone’s way, and I messed up orders and miscalculated. I need to get my shit straight before I jump in head first for something.
I just want to be normal.
A wallflower is a person going unnoticed. I’m a wallflower because I simply want to go unnoticed. I just watched “The Perks Of Being A Wallflower” I recommend everyone on this website to watch it because it is inspirational and true. It tells a timeless story and describes me in so many ways. I love it so much, I have to say I’m obsessed. I don’t have much to rant about other than me wanting to die but that’s just the usual. I can’t sit still and type to day so it’s just whatever at the moment. I will probably come back on later.
Everyone deserves a second chance right? You’re wrong. I have never gotten a second chance or even a first chance. So why does it even matter? It doesn’t. Does it? I’m just not cut out for this world. I’m really not. I… don’t belong. No one really understands me, but no one knows my story as well as me though. I need to find my place in this world. I feel like i have to be somewhere else. I have no clue why I even post on this website no one really reads my boring trash. I’m a stranger in this world trying, searching, breathing. Just looking […]
I’m not ugly, I’m not pretty. I’m just me. Depressed, lonely, boring me. I have a story, my story, to tell. I don’t believe in other people committing suicide, but i feel I should. I have so many reasons against me. I have had help, asked for it, it was given but nothing works. I’m still me here waiting, watching, wanting to die, but something keeps me from actually doing it. I want to so badly I cry because I cant even do that. Some days I eat everything, some days I don’t eat at all. I fail at school and suck at life. A ll I really want it to be […]
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