Who would have ever thought “wow that kid is going to grow up and kill herself” I dont think this is reality, for some odd reason I think someone’s going to pop out and say you’ve been pranked…. All I want is to be free ok? This problem is something the medicine cant fix. You cant fix it, I cant fix it, they cant fix it. IT’S STUCK. It’s on me forever like a curse. I have my plans to vacation forever.
After surviving I realized how much I really do want to die. I seriously hate 99.9% of the world. If I don’t let my anger out soon,I’ll burst. I just have to make it to August. Counselors and medicine is bull. I just can’t wait to be dead,I feel as if I have lived my life. When people say “you’re to young to die” I stop and think,what that really means. 13 is old to me. I’m not throwing a pity party. Tell me why I’m so depressed.
When I die I won’t leave a note. I’ll have them all spun, creating outrageous theories of why I did it. “I am happy” I don’t want to be joyful. I like being depressed, I guess..?
Ive relized I’m permanently sad. No medicine could fix this pain. Ever so happy to be sad,I am. I fantize this death of mine. The beauty of death has always been hidden. I just wanted to be in that casket. How original death is.I love it. It loves me.My addiction will soon be fed.<3
Without a mirror I still see your reflections
Deep inside my heart are dangerous infections
I drink my self made cyanide acid
While igneous rocks are being thrown at her
Does she know i am her?
Does he know he is him?
In this coffin I lay down to sleep
I invite you and your friends
I have seen myself without seeing her
I am her?
I am a figment of imagination.
All eyes have created precipitation.
Por favor,me odian
Please hate me.Please hate me.
Teach me how to die.Teach me how to lie.Teach me how to get over myself.Teach me your tricks.Teach me your plan.I wanna know!How are you all so perfect?
I dislike this Kid!He mocks suicide and acts as if its just a thing.He said “I hate myself and nobody cares if I die.Suicide isn’t a option anymore.Im not good.I Hate This Place.”I asked him if he was ok and that id do anything to help him.His response “Oh that Haha I just wanted to see peoples reactions.I would never kill myself.Do I look like a loser?Haha only retards kill themselves”A Moment of Silence Please…….FUDGE YOU MAN!I saw past your “I’m to worthy”attitude and reached out to help you.All you could do is mock my dream.I will soon be a “Retard and Loser”.Such a […]
If you must kill me.I don’t mind.Painful or painless.I don’t care.You have caused the hurt now it’s your duty to get rid of it.Oh wait you’re the innocent.I’ll play the evil girl who kills herself again because “some fake reason”I’ll leave behind another note telling you I love you all (I hate most of you).You’ll tell everyone “We never saw a change in her we thought she was happy”.You’ll try to remember all the good times because I couldn’t.Dig deep but there still will be none.I’m kidnapped by my thoughts and I love it.
Counted Calories.Anorexic/Bulimic
Tribal Glory.
Empty Yet Full Stomach.
Passing Time
Heated Water
Legacy Of Insane/Sane
Being this Way has become sane to me.Therefore while in depression mood I am not depressed just sane.And when suicidual I am sane.Tell the doctors I am sane.They just can’t see throughout my eyes They Are Insane!Tell them about the feeling,The hype,The sad joy,And the bitter sweet pain.I want to be sane.Why would you turn me insane?So I could be robotic and dull like the “Normal”People of this damned world?I haven’t time for myself or any of you”Normals”
It hurts.To see everything as calories.To exercise and starve.If I do eat it all comes out.I couldn’t think about being fat.When I first started I was 114 pounds 5’6.A week later I was 109.I saw how well it work I felt so skinny at that point then 3days later I felt fat.I thought I gained the weight back but I was still 109.So I did it again.104 in 1week.I knew it wasn’t healthy but I just won’t feel good at any weight.I see everyone eating hamburgers and if I ever put that in my mouth I think I’d gained 30 pounds.It hurts.To see everything […]
I’m ready to watch myself fall.I can’t care because I just don’t.I’ve become a midnight spy wearing light up shoes.Not gonna work.It hurts..To feel Neutral.The most emptiest feeling ever.I’d rather be depressed then numb.Medication is jacked.I want to turn back to my birth when I was a baby no pain just tears no remembrance of petty fears.I Am Ready.
Surround me only after I attempt.Surround me when I don’t need you the most.Surround me when I wanna be alone.Surround me when I don’t want to hear people.I believe all I want to say is GET THE FUCK AWAY!
I am angry
So I cry
My emotions build
So I lie
With wounds wide open
You watch me bleed
A heart so steady
And filled with greed
I am owned
Myself has not been shown
Everyday I wish to see
The person hiding inside of me
Never try to overdose on tylenol!Im the most retarded 15yr. in the world I spent 7 day in the hospital with people telling me God loves you so much he gave you back a perfect liver and how much they love me and presuring me not to do it again.Then 11 days in physhc unit where put me on antidepressants and continuousy preached to me not to do it again!18 days of hospotal food YUM!
I know this will work.tomorrow I will take a bottle of tylenol.I’m 5’9,93 pounds,15.positive no doubt Thanks everyone for the help but help won’t ever be enough.I’ll pray that I don’t chicken out.Ugh this sucks.My note:
I love you all as God’s creatures but anything more would be a lie.I stopped lying months ago.It’s been this way for along time.It won’t change.I’m sleepless.I’m leaving nameless.I don’t want anyone holding the guilt for me dying after all it’s all my fault.Im suppose to help me not you.I’m suppose to be alone.I’m comfortable when I’m sad,It’s normal for me.Well I got to catch the bus!Later Days.
I’ll […]
I follow the tracks
You say lead me home
I look towards a gun
When I am alone
Times have changed
And so have you
When I wake up
I’ll be amongst a different crew
That child that laughed
Is now full of black
The child that smiled
Is never coming back
She loves everyone
Her arms are always welcoming
Until they were cut off
Nobody Appears
Nobody speaks to her
She only sees what she used to have
She looks at the clock
And sees it’s her time to die
Grabs the pills
Swallows
Without even saying goodbye
*I’m not a good poet it was just a a whim
I hate the truth.I never want to have to face it.I know I’m depressed,I know I cry for no reason.I can’t enjoy the things I used with sadness.I think I was born to die.So as of now I have a week and 3 days to live
I have to do this.It’s not a choice for me because I know deep down inside once things get better they will get worse 100%.there’s 1 million questions but no answers so why create theories? why wait for failure?I think about suicide all the time sad,happy,bored it doesn’t matter what I do it’s still going to be there.I can’t run with broken legs
I forgot about everything. I lived in my head but now that my brains old and boring my day is filled with hate and silence I can’t wait this will be so swell.the world is over populated anyway.you live old and die young.
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