I’m suicidal again and have no one to tell. I feel no point. . . No happiness or sadness really. Wheni have many reasons to be both, but instead I would just rather jump onto some train tracks and be forgotten.
I’m in a bad place again. Roads are icy and all I can think about is wrecking on purpose and dying so it looks like a real accident. In other words, suicide is always on my mind. I’m slipping and have no one to tell. . . Also opinions on checking yourself into a psych ward?
I’ve gone about two weeks without my meds because I can’t afford to refill them. Ihate asking for help but I’m debating if I should ask my dad for money for a refill. I don’t know what to do. Should I ask or wait out two more weeks for a paycheck.
Being low is fucking terrible. Â I used to have a drug problem. I don’t do drugs anymore but when I get like this I only want drugs.
Why you may wonder, because they make me feel good. Â Not suicidal.
This pain is worse than any physical pain I could endure. . . I’m not mad, I’m not sad, happy etc. . . I’m suicidal, yes I consider it a mood.
I should just go away. . . FUUCK
No fucking wonder I don’t have friends (according to my parents). And pretend to be depressed and tried to kill myself for attention.
I’m an 18 yr old college student so I stay home for breaks. I see my parents for like 10 minutes. First they dis my new tattoo, it’s on my ear. Which I don’t mind that they just said I look trashy. Then I warn my dad about dying my hair an orangish color. Well apparently that makes me trashy too.
So moral of the story, I don’t get a long with my parents and I’m becoming more of a freak by the day, […]
It feels like it’s physically impossible to sleep. . . So I can’t seem to sleep and all I want to do right now is sleep . . .
My mind is killing me right now.
When I’m feeling suicidal I post on here. I want to talk to my family but I can’t
I’m already a burden on them but it won’t make things better if they have to worry about me doing something. . . . Plus they would probably send me to a psych ward. I can’t afford that
So I tell you beautiful people, because you support and understand. Thank you
First I want to start with a little history. . .
April of this year I had my first attempt of suicide. It was a great day no worries but for some reason it just felt like the right time. . There was no emotion behind it. I was just sitting there and bam I thought ok I can kill myself now. . . Blankness.
Moving on now. . .
I feel like I’m getting back to that place of nothingness. Some days I feel suicidal, others just thoughts. But it doesn’t fell right at the moment. . Nor did it the day I attempted. […]
Living alone sucks. . . I don’t just mean in a place by myself, I mean literally the essence of living and being alone. I thought maybe I didn’t try to associate with people. But when I do I get blown off. Make plans, “yeah we can hang” still sitting here alone
Why do I wait? No one is waiting for me. . . For some reason these days I’m dropping back to the grey nothingness. . . This is when I’m most suicidal. I’m counting the days, how long can I last by myself. Not like there would be a lot of people who […]
I’m just going to start with how getting an education and becoming successful is my top goal in my life
Sorry it’s long. . . good luck. . .
Honestly this goal as weird as it may sound is what’s keeping me alive on some of my most suicidal days. I tell myself I have somewhere to be in my future. I don’t always believe it. . . Like now. I feel like I’m going no where. I’m approaching sophomore year of college. I have great grades but I absolutely HATE the school I’m at right now.
I’ve made the decision to drop […]
I hate my family and friends for caring so much. For expecting so much. It’s hard knowing there are people out there rooting for your success but you know you aren’t good enough. I always manage to screw up. I have never been ‘successful’ at something. I’m just fucking average when everyone else is around me, telling me about how great I’m doing. Little do they know that success in my future is probably not going to happen. Therefore I hate everyone for rooting me on, because even more than I hate them for this I hate that someway somehow someday I know that I […]
I’m not the as people would say ‘average’ face of depression. I’m a successful student, cheerleader at a college, have friends (or did) But on this Saturday night I’m doing fine then bam, I’m ‘depressingly bored’ It’s saturday, our football team won the first game of playoff’s woo, I should be out celebrating. I’m not I’m here thinking back to the night I tried to take my life. I’m not so distraught by it anymore. But some times I think why didn’t it happen but bigger question is why did I try? I was talking to my sister the other day about it. I pretty […]