tomorrows my moms birthday and while i can say i will smile and be happy on the outside thats only part of the truth but ill be crying on the inside. I havent decided if im ready to die yet ecspecially since i never seem to get it right I know if i really was ready id go to the bridge and jump off. I guess im at the point were i still do want help even though no help has been the right help. My therapist i feel like i havent talked to her in years. The last two times i saw her once […]
first off id like to say i hate everything. I stopped taking meds and now i cant move my fucking arm cause of a stress related disorder.I couldnt walk earlier and now this. I dont know why i stopped taking it it just happened. But for some reason ive gone between super happy then super pissed and now depressed and wanting to die. No im not bipolar. Im psychotic but not schizophrenic. And Im terribly alone ive never been more alone. My two main emotions are alone and pissed off. But i have to keep cool only my close friend knows whats going on with […]
hi megan its me tiara i recently got it into my head to starve and dehydrate myself the words sheer will and determination ring clear to my ears and by monday itll be day four im tired of everybody failing to help me if im still here by day five ill give this whole thing up if not see ya
im having a hard time keeping together one part of me wants to jump off a bridge another part of me wants to slit my wrist or starve and dehydrate myself. To bad you cant do all three. Im in a lot of pain and i dont know why just know something inside of me hurts real bad. My life is good but this feeling is not good. I just got out of the er i actually went twice one the first day then the next. They threatened to kick me out of the er the second time if i kept acting up so i […]
I dont know why but all of sudden ive felt a lot of guilt about attempting suicide. This has never happened to me before. But now ive started thinking of my family. Not friends or anyone else but my family. Specifically my mom see her friend is dying of cancer and it seems like killing myself would just weight to heavily on her. But i have pills stored up and ready i just cant kill myself right now it wouldnt be right. But at the same time im tired of living. If i die there will be no more death no more suffering. At the […]
I overdosed like two weeks ago. But i never took all the pills.Im tired of seeing people suffer around me and im tired of suffering. So what ive decided and this is not for sure but to either take the remaining pills when i see my psychiatrist tommorow. Ive tried this before. People think im joking so im going to prove that im not. Im scared but i know what i have to do. theres no turning back unless the pills magically dissapear which i very much doubt. SOmetimes i feel like a drug addict cause whenever i have pills i end up taking them […]
So i just got out of the hospital for overdose about two days ago. Actually it wasnt the hospital it was the er. I spent most of my time there in four point restraints since i kept trying to leave. The only reason i wanted to leave was because i hate being in the crazy section of the er cause thats were the gaurds are and there not so nice. Then they put moved me next to a baby getting a spinal tap in case you dont know what that is its a needle in your spine i still hear the screaming in my […]
I just overdosed a couple days ago and havent been able to get suicide of my mind. It seemed like i was doing good i used to go to the er about three to two times a day for suicide attempts swallowing batteries and overdosing on pills i tried to hang myself once didn’t work out to well cause we live in a freaking apartment. I dont want to die and its hard to even admit when im suicidal to people cause it feels wrong saying it. I havent been admitted to a mental hospital cause mostly i lie my way out of it. Im […]
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