I am fat and ugly and 36 and I want to die. I have had suicidal longings since I was 9 years old – I always felt wrong, ugly, humiliated by my size. I still feel the same way, even with over 8 years of therapy, antidepressants, you name it. I am just so exhausted with trying and just ending up back in the black hole again. Now I find out I will most likely lose my job, which is one of the only good things in my life. I feel like tearing myself to shreds. I want to go to sleep and never wake […]