Author

pichu

I am not being allowed to die.

by pichu 4/27/2017

written by pichu

Things didn’t go as I imagined them to. I was supposed to be dead by now.

I was sure some things would go wrong but they didn’t. And when they did, I gave myself time and things got better. It’s like nature makes things better for me. I didn’t even work hard to make things better. I don’t want things to get better. I wanted to die.

I have lived milestone to milestone, in hope that the day I don’t reach the milestone I will end it all. I hope I fail to reach my next milestone. But that milestone is 5-6 years away.

I want to die but […]

4/27/2017 0 comment

I am convinced suicide is the only way out.

by pichu 11/14/2015

written by pichu

Its 3 am here. I can’t sleep. I want to die. I want my wrist to be cut open, my head to burst. Everything feels so heavy.

I am 21. Everyone around me have an idea of how their future will be. I don’t. I don’t see much farther. I see my suicide. And then its all black. People Plan for their future, I plan for my suicide.

There are no solutions to my problems. Suicide is actually the best way out. All I need to do now is plan my suicide.
I want my suicide note to be perfect. No loose ends. I want everyone to […]

11/14/2015 6 comments

Smash my head with hammer. Not just once. Keep doing it.

by pichu 8/9/2015

written by pichu

This is 2nd my post. I am not suicidal right now. But it still feels worse.

Yesterday I took the knife pressed it’s sharp end on my wrist. It didn’t cut. But it was the closest I came to hurting myself. Today I want to hurt myself but I don’t have the courage. I hope when I cut myself, the little cut will open and all the frustration and negative things go outside. There’s too much dark content inside me, that needs to get out.

Is it good that I think that cutting is better than suicide. Can cutting can relieve me off this desperation or whatever […]

8/9/2015 2 comments

I am new here – my suicidal feelings are old

by pichu 7/11/2015

written by pichu

I am 20. It’s been 4 years now. Everyday I say to myself “I want to die”. You know the little games we play in our mind. Mine is – saying to myself “I want to die”.

It started off due to academic pressure, then bullies, then other tensions. Eventually I am now a failure everywhere. If we meet someday, you wouldn’t be able to tell that I am suicidal. I wish you could. No way can sense how unhappy I am. I am just another introvert in front of society. Inside I am a tired guy screaming in tears – “I WANT TO DIE”.

I am […]

7/11/2015 3 comments