You judged me for my madess hated my tattoos and gave up on me when I needed you the most. You sick f*ck. I thought you accepted me for the meagre nothingmess that I was but this belief is draining my faith in humanity. The world was only judgemental because I allowed it to be, and as I start over as my vulnerable 14 year old self this will all end. Heres to being empowered, I pray my love affair with the noose will […]
que sera
que sera
Foster care Middle child syndrome Rape Father issues Self esteem issues Self loathing narcissist Prior Heroin addict clean for five years Hypochondriac A master surpresser of issues all done unwilfully and subconsciously - when I was raped I equated it to grazing my knee, never thoight of again still see it that way, until I was grappled down by 2 x 100kg coppers, a dainty 47kg girl. My instinct was to cry out for my mother my soul drifted as I disconnected from my body, my agonising screams echoed into a deafening silence. I just didn't understand this disproportionate feeling I had until I attempted suicide again. Princess syndrome Degenerate of society syndrome emotionally unstable loyal generous kind fair vain identity crisis Left wing Scared Angry Alone And trying so hard to " love myself with no tools, guidance and with out feeling like a jackass selfish narcissist. Over thinker Logic and intellect tends to justify flawlessly my radical emotions Middle child syndrome Rape Father issues Self esteem issues Self loathing narcissist Prior Heroin addict clean for five years Hypochondriac A master surpresser of issues all done unwilfully and subconsciously - when I was raped I equated it to grazing my knee, never thoight of again still see it that way, until I was grappled down by 2 x 100kg coppers, a dainty 47kg girl. My instinct was to cry out for my mother my soul drifted as I disconnected from my body, my agonising screams echoed into a deafening silence. I just didn't understand this disproportionate feeling I had until I attempted suicide again. Princess syndrome Degenerate of society Anxious Rebel loyal generous kind fair vain identity crisis Left wing Scared Angry Alone Trying so hard to " love myself with no tools, guidance and with out feeling like a jackass selfish narcissist. Over thinker Logic and intellect tends to be a good idea to advertise the UK. I just didn't understand this disproportionate feeling I had until I attempted suicide, and the other day. I just didn't understand this disproportionate feeling I had until I attempted suicide again. Princess syndrome Degenerate of society syndrome emotionally unstable loyal generous kind fair vain identity crisis Left wing Scared Angry Alone And trying so hard to " love myself with no tools, guidance and with out feeling like a jackass selfish narcissist. Over thinker Logical mind tends to justify flawlessly my emotions. I just didn't understand this disproportionate feeling I had until I attempted suicide again. Princess syndrome Degenerate of society syndrome emotionally unstable loyal generous kind fair vain identity crisis Left wing Scared Angry Alone And trying so hard to " love myself with no tools, guidance and with out feeling like a jackass selfish narcissist. Over thinker Logic and intellect tends to be a good idea to advertise with us. We have a look at the moment. The comments for your help. I just didn't understand this disproportionate feeling I had until I attempted suicide again. Princess syndrome Degenerate of society syndrome emotionally unstable loyal generous kind fair vain identity crisis Left wing Scared Angry Alone And trying so hard to " love myself with no tools, guidance and with out feeling like a jackass selfish narcissist. Over thinker Logic and intellect tends to justify flawlessly my emotions. I just didn't understand this disproportionate feeling I had until I attempted suicide
Although I would never walk that same path, knowing the pain that will rein onto my loved ones. Being a heroin junkie drowned out my depression caged my thoughts with painful withdrawals and lifted me back up to clouds when I finally got that hit. No self-loathing no depression but at the very least a selfish reason for living.
When I was young I prayed to god to ‘look after my family, send angels to protect them and if he had to, take my life instead of theirs so I wouldn’t endure the pain of their loss’ I prayed the same prayer for almost ten years, for a child with no life experience I couldn’t help but obsess over this worst pain scenario?
Last night I screamed. For the first time in a long time I tried to scream out all my pain, no noise came out though. The sense of reality forced a shit load of tears instead. My swollen eyes made it hard […]
When it gets so intense I’m always back again.When I was 15 I did an art piece depicting a face expressing pain. Their eyes clenched tightly and mouth arched viciously downwards as if all was lost. I’ve come to the conclusion that it is the intensity of what I feel that drives me mad and soon to sadness. This idea unintentionally danced through my painting as I realised the inspiration was an image of Lleyton Hewitt winning his first and only grand slam. Ironic huh? Being the bell of the ball and the crazy bipolar ***** whimpering away in her room. And I don’t mean […]
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
A recommended movie to Pass the depressing time. A coming of age movie, exploring a young man’s emotional struggle with depression, anxiety and facing suppressed memories of his childhood trauma.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1659337/
excerpt of the movie https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dV0tzF7YpAc
So for a while now I’ve noticed that I have an “unpleasant” energy. Some people would assume I’m weird or awkward, I feel like I repel people from me. When I was younger I use to believe it was people being intimidated by me.
I’ve been told that I’m an open book. No matter how hard I try to suppress these emotions and try to fake it I show no progress. I work in solitude, where I see people on a daily basis. A seedy looking man walked in and reeked of cologne. He had his top button loose and a greasy looking Elvis curl. I […]
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2584799/A-mothers-infidelity-lie-left-son-without-father.html
the nightmares begin again. After five years they continue. ffs.
There is an empty feeling that resides in my soul. I have searched every logical avenue to end this horrible feeling. I have been through hell and back, and as I look back the only reason I kept going was because I had meagre problems to overcome and each time I would succeed I would experience an acute sense of joy. I suffer from anxiety, depression paranoia you name it. Whether or not it was self inflicted from my history of drug abuse, traumatic events or my family history of mental illnesses or the potentiation of all of the above, this feeling is f*cked up. […]