Author

RT :)

How to Forgive without forgetting with an open heart ?
Can we simply not forgive if cannot forget, with the elevation declared as its reward in our own eyes and not having one to recognize it. Its like: If a tree falls in the forest, and there’s nobody around to hear, does it make a sound?. Why should we forgive if the forgiveness is not realized, why should we sorry even, if the envy and pride are more powerful. Are they not just the make believe ethics, to serve the society, to save it from what was coming to claim its due place.

Can we really clear […]

8/26/2016 0 comment

My Love 2: Rebound

by RT :) 11/17/2015

written by RT :)

I grown into a young man, full of youth, enjoyment and had such a persona that I had the ability of standing out among a bunch of people, yes i was eccentric.

During my time of studies something happened to me that would last its mark to the rest of my life. I spent months in fear, months; in asking the question that why it happened to me the way i did, but there was no answer. My brain activated a survival response and i fell in love with fear, itself.

She was in my class. She was as fine and lovable as an Angel, i wanted […]

11/17/2015 3 comments

My Love: 1

by RT :) 10/23/2015

written by RT :)

She was one of the most beautiful faces i have ever seen. Its not like i haven’t seen her before. Me, her brother and she, we used to play together, when she used to live near our house. But they moved to a place near my grandma’s. That day when i was visiting my grandmas, i saw her after a long time and just got a feeling as if my heart is feeling suffocated and as if trying to beat, every beat felt like a beat of drum in my ear. I felt as if something was holding my heart and pulling it towards my […]

10/23/2015 2 comments

Source of Evil

by RT :) 10/19/2015

written by RT :)

It is now a year in loneliness and isolation. I gave myself enough time to think, to wonder why they behaved with me like the way they did. Why I went suddenly a nobody from being their pal. How I could lose respect that took me years to build. How one year of anger can be of more weight than a decade of friendship.

He was like my brother, he was sweet and was good to me. I thought of himself as being the one who would understand me. But when i got angry with him, instead of confronting him, I labelled him; I misjudged him. […]

10/19/2015 4 comments

Beyond

by RT :) 10/13/2015

written by RT :)

The everlasting light; or the endless darkness. Sometimes even curiosity itself can become the tool to execute the will. All of the hope seems false and the last hope I would have is to die and see what lies beyond; even more pain and misery or the eventual satisfaction.

The very thinking that nothing lies beyond in itself is hopeless; as if we will not be able to find the justice even after death. But the justice is created to maintain the society; then, the very concept of justice is flawed. Why would we even willing to maintain the balance in the society when we are […]

10/13/2015 3 comments

Superimposition: Death

by RT :) 10/6/2015

written by RT :)

Somewhere, in some other time, i am living my nightmare;
Here and now, i am living my perfect life;
Here and in some other time, i am living my nightmare;
Somewhere and now, i am living my perfect life;
I am living my other self’s perfect life, while my other self is living a nightmare.
My other self is living my perfect life, while i am living my nightmare.
Connected only through dreams…
Through dreams….
I can taste what a perfect life would taste like
Through dreams……
I come to know of sorrows and losses which can make my life hell
Connected only by dreams…..

10/6/2015 0 comment

Pain

by RT :) 10/4/2015

written by RT :)

The sensation that deprive your mind of any kind of goal oriented thinking and at the same time produce a will for getting rid of itself. The way it is felt is immense and it takes over other feelings much like an orgasm. Although momentarily but lasts its mark on your body, soul or your heart. Whenever you get reminded of your pain, of any time, you immediately know what is the feeling and how you would feel if to endure that pain again….But pain unfortunately has a habit of being recurrent. Normally brain would push the pain of the past to the farthest corners […]

10/4/2015 5 comments

This Test of Life

by RT :) 10/3/2015

written by RT :)

This Loathsome test of life, that nothing is in my hand
except the power to take away my own life
My heart does not desire what i want to do
and i stop myself from doing things that i want to do
My mind is not mine to think, what i want to think
God, why are you testing me with pain
O Sadist, Do you want to give me pain
even bigger than the pain of this life
Or are you waiting that i get so disappointed with life
that i take my life by my own hands
So that you can get a […]

10/3/2015 3 comments

Start of my GAD

by RT :) 10/1/2015

written by RT :)

You know, i have history of anxiety and depression. The first attack of depression came when i was in my under grad school. It was all boys. Some of the boys were kind to me but majority of them were bullies. I had a huge body structure so not much people tried to pick fight with me but some of them did and when they found out that instead of fighting them back, I instead tried to run away; they found a sport in bullying me.

One day, i was going back home on foot, i saw a tree which was naturally cut towards inside from […]

10/1/2015 4 comments

Reward

by RT :) 9/30/2015

written by RT :)

We all have our business with life, the job, the family, entertainment. When my friend approached me, I was also engaged in one of the toughest time of my life; My family was undergoing a hard time about which i could not do anything but pray; I just started my first job. My friend needed help and I complied, sacrificed as much as I could; I would leave my job early so that I can reach college at time to make my friend learn something so that my friend would not fail and when married, I wanted to see the degree in my friend’s hand. […]

9/30/2015 5 comments

Lost friend

by RT :) 9/30/2015

written by RT :)

I thought we were best of friends, distances between us would never mean anything. We will stay connected forever; and at least pray for each other, as we are not gods to influence each others lives. But you betrayed my friendship only under the assumption that i have betrayed. We could have spoken, instead of just making assumptions. Humans communicate, they react. Only Machines don’t react.

And now, i fear that in my anger, you went too far away from me. You misunderstood my anger as well. Instead of directly confronting me, you shut me down; as if I never existed;

In a snap I become a […]

9/30/2015 6 comments

Hell

by RT :) 9/29/2015

written by RT :)

What can i expect to find in Paradise….
i will be bored with such a contended life….
I will happily embrace Hell,
As it will still have a purpose, a hope.
I will wake-up ever day for a new punishment
With the hope that may be this is the day
When God will forgive me and this punishment will be over
And i know, i will never be forgiven;
And i know, i will never lose this hope
…..
But….It seems like i am already in hell; No?
And i have a hope that one day
i will wake up from this nightmare and
this […]

9/29/2015 3 comments