I’m sorry. This is my third post in only a few days. But I can’t stop thinking about death. I know that every last person that has made contact with me will die, me included. The thought of losing everyone I know just brings me down. And aside from that, my brother keeps insisting he’s only joking around with me when I plainly have bruises from our “play fights”. He started choking me! And to make things worse, he’s decided that he likes to hit on every last one of my friends. A while ago, I had friends but they weren’t real. And he hit on almost every one of them. Now he’s onto the one person I can trust. He’s mad cus she doesn’t like it, but he keeps on.
A little wanna-be emo at school is mad at me. Everyone at school thinks I wanna be “depressed”. I don’t smile a lot, as I stated before, because I have bad teeth. They really make me want to hurt hurt them. Yes, I get sad about death, but if I could kill them I would.
Last night I was thinking of fun ways to die. For me, and for other people. I have this show called: “Ask A Ninja” on my Mp4, and he was talking about a program “ninjas” had for children who were dying, they could take someone with them. Well, that immediately brought me to start thinking about killing the girl who has been making me miserable. I started plotting how, with a knife. When, after school. Then, kill myself. I’m not going down without taking some more shit this world could live without.
Then, Death Note came on. And this brought amazing images to my mind.
I could kill everyone I hated, get an ally to help, then when its finished…we commit suicide. Then, I wouldn’t have to deal with people. They’d all be dead, and I might even decide on living then. I seriously consider these ideas.
But then, there’s that one with no work involved. The one where I slit my neck and just….die.