and soon. Sure, who the hell doesnt want an easy way out, but growing tired of all the nay-Sayers who dont think i have the guts to off myself. MORE bad news today. MORE being alone! MORE being screwed-over by family. and yes, at this point i know that no one cares and i certainly ASK that no one cares. Just MORE shit-filled proof in my life stating i am worthless to others and i know damn well, i have long since been worthless to myself, too. i could give a fuck. i found a way to legally purchase a gun in my state. no […]
just F_ck
f_ck my family that steals from me
f_ck my family that ignores me, as if i dont even exist!
f_ck my so-called “friends” that are never around
f_ck face book and all YOUR great times i dont want to read about
f_ck this life that i never asked to be born into
f_ck it all!
NO REPLIES NECESSARY….i just needed to rant for a bit!
:/
i took pills last night, left extra food and water out for the cat, taped a sign to my chest that read ” i hope i die tonight Fuck you ALL!”
ever tried to kill yourself and it failed? how do you feel when you wake up and know it didnt happen…or you didnt cut deep enough…or whatever method you tried? i am a TOTAL FAILURE as i have tried so many times and obviously, ALWAYS been UNsucessful!!!
no one cares or listens to me in my life….why bother being here (life) if all i get is crapped on? Why dont others see my pain… that they […]
i cant handle life alone.
i desperately want to die.
i self-harm to feel better and make the pain of being an outcast and all alone.
i wonder why it is ME that cant have friends….obviously, I MUST BE DEFECTIVE…but how do i locate the defect?
i need the pain to STOP….since i’ve tried everything else, i want SUICIDE to take it (all the pain and sh!!t in my life) away….forever…..a permanent solution to an ongoing problem…i see ZER0 hope in this ever changing into something good and worthwhile.
i thought humans were “mentally wired” to be with other people…then WHY does my higher power allow ME to be destitute […]
no one cares, so i dont even know why i need to write this. (i wish i could get a horrible disease and be gone!….it is so unfair that people that are loved, needed and wanted get these horrible, incurable diseases….while, i who have no one and wants to die…stays half-way healthy. I’ve never understood this miscarriage of justice!!!) the thieves (my deceased sister’s young adult children) need not ever show their face around me.(dead or alive) i would like to think, as i did discussed with my brother’s daughter and her husband (man! he is so great to me!…as much as he […]
WHAT do others do with anger? Thankfully, i live alone, so i at times rant and slam things down. i beat on my arms, i LOVE feeling the pain…it allows my mind to refocus. I sometimes cut, but i prefer the hitting, beating myself….usually my lower arms and when they get too sore the upper arms. sometimes i leave bruises…sometimes it takes a day or so to show up. try to cover them when out in public. Again, at home i am alone. i wish for crazy things…like to drop a cynder block on my head, knock myself out (doubtfully) or get a brain bleed […]
Does anyone ever feel this way? i can be going good, then ONCE AGAIN, i find myself being taken advantage of for trying to help others, only to be critically used in the end, OR completely ignored by an entire facet of my family….always have been…and then they sit around and wonder what is wrong with ME?,,,when they refuse to have me over, state my house is too small, so refuse to come here. i hate the judgement and games they play. Neighbor wants to constantly use me…does help me at times (as i need/appreciate assistant due to my chronic pain issues) but just found […]
I feel as if I am a defective person; mere trash that the common person uses for their own purpose then tosses away, like yesterdays newspaper. I grew up in a dysfunctional home. (Who hasn’t, right?) But I’ve had an extremely hard time making friends. (I am in my forties, so this isn’t a new thing.) My family is either ultra-religious & I am a heathen who doesn’t follow their God-fearing ways…so they outcast me. Also, my sibling has children and grandchildren now, too…but those are his only family. just his immediate…no sisters, parents, cousins, NOTHING…just his own tight knit unit he gets to […]