I can’t make it anymore. I always come back to the same point. When I’m alone, I see that my life is pointless and worthless. and I want to die again. Why? I try to live. I try to find the reason to live. I try so hard. But those thoughts…They don’t leave me…Why do I always come back to the same point?
Everybody in this house just doesn’t want to exist. I heard my grandma saying this and how am I supposed to help her when I don’t even know how to find the reason to live? I’d like to help her but sometimes her mind is just not in as good condition as it used to be. My mother blames my grandma for the fact that my mom’s condtion is worse. That’s because about one or two years ago, when my sister and I were at school, grandma could help mom walk. In this way, she was still exercising. But when grandma went to the hospital, […]
It’s so hard to write about this. U’ll be the first people who will know the truth about me even though you even don’t know my real name.
So…When my mom was pregnant, it turned up she had MS. This cannot be cured. There is no treatment. No chance. It can only gets worse. And it gets. I was the child she was going to born. My mom had the second, healthy baby but I’d like not to be ever born. If I hadn’t be born, she would be healthy now. She could be leading a happy life with my father and sister.In the first years […]
I’m here, can’t sleep, my stomach aches, I can’t force myself to learn. That’s why I’m writing. I just need to organise what’s on my mind. In the last years, so many things happened. I couldn’t even think about it. I stopped writing a diary. But it’s high time to make a confession, isn’t it? Time of decisions came. I’m just not sure if I’m ready for that. If I’m ready to think twice about the things that make me cry even now. But if I want to leave, I don’t want to leave a mess. Does it make any sense?
I’m planning to write about […]
I still can’t believe what I am doing. Looking for help in the Internet? In the past I’d probably just laugh at such a stupid idea. Instead, I’m here telling you how hopeless my life has become and how hard I’d just like to have a forever rest from everything. I wish I could not live. Who asked me if I wanted to live? I was just born. That’s not fair. Well, anyway, I just want to say hi to everyone. I’ve read many of your posts as I’ve been considering this step for a long time and finally I’m here. I’m impressed by your […]