My necrotic carotid
Fills this head with exotic
Dreams of when I bought it
Suicidal tendencies methodic-ly
Naughty
Not haughty
I’m not breathless
I just breathe less
No delusions of grandeur
But illusions of a grand doer
Fighting force majeure
I’m never gonna get this right
So why do I keep up the fight?
Just run, just run
Before I give up
I’ll burn this world to the ground
So count me out
I’ll only ever let you down
Funny how everything you expect comes true
Did you ever think there was anything else I could do?
Give me back a way to find the light
Because I’m never gonna get this right
I can’t keep up the fight
So just run, please just run
Before I give up I’ll burn this world to the ground
So count me out
Take a minute to catch your breath
All that you thought you had is just a dream
Nothing is ever as it […]
On the edge of the battlefield
My mind falters
The asperity of self hatred
Bearing down on me
You knew this day would come
A time to pay for what you’ve done
Hopes crushed, dreams lost
In the stain on my hands
My cold pale heart
Buried next to you
The walls of this prison
Built with pain and sorrow
The fantasy revoked
Like my lease on life
It’s time to return
To where I belong
To the darkness that consumes
The emptiness that beckons
The pain that eases
My attempts at life
A joke in their own right
So douse this flame
With the strands of infinity
Hang me out to dry
Soaking in regret
The taste of failure
Fresh on my lips
A web of confusion
Clouding my thoughts
Nothingness closes in
This […]
Nipping at your heels
The nothing that steals
Seething, breathing
I can’t stand this feeling
Manifesting itself, in the hidden shelf
Of your mind
The hellscape in yourself, that you find
Real or not
It’s coming
Ready or fraught
Never whole again
Time stands still
The nothing that you feel
It’s like you’ve been here before
The blackness within
Fruitless battles rival, original sin
It’s so deeply ingrained
You can’t wash away the stain
It feels like you’ve slipped away
You know you’ll never sleep again
Fate balances in my hands
A swaying lover
Caught up in the embrace
A flick of the wrist
Is all that it takes
To the darkness I awake
Nowhere fills the rear view mirror
As the answer
Makes itself clear
My future has become
Stained with your blood
The scars of tomorrow
Forged in the fires of tonight
As bells ring in the distance
Marking the end of a life
In your memories
I’ll try to hide
Shut out the world
To find something greater
Than this pain
But hollow hope will leave me afloat
To drown
In this mess I’ve made
Now home
Isn’t a place I stay
It’s a feeling
That’s washed away
The past has long since passed
Me by
Just a faint flash of pain
Hidden inside
These eyes
Keep on searching them
But […]
A whisper in your ear, signals the return of all your fear
You thought things were looking up
But only because you’ve been upside down
While your hope was leading you to drown
Such a foolish boy, don’t you know that you’re just a toy
When the fun runs out you’re cast aside
Now you’re running away, with no place to hide
Searching for a reason to live, but you’re dead inside
Why are you not surprised? Is this what life has done to your mind?
I have a thousand fucks, but don’t give one
Spending my last days watching the setting sun
The lies I tell myself, to continue this charade
The painful memories streaming by in parade
Lights out, hit the racks
Bag up my ashes in a paper sack
Elation creeping up my spine
For on this poison I shall dine
As blissful silence
Replaces self inflicted violence
I’m not falling for the hoax
This sick twisted joke
Nothing is real
Except the emptiness that I feel
Keep the stories to yourself
As you file my memory on the shelf
I won’t let my conscience get in the way
Before I let the silence take me away
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/To-Write-Love-On-Her-Arms-Time-Will-Fade.mp3
Dishing like the wishing well
Granting wishes but wishes never granted
It’s all i’m taken for
A ride through hell and back
To reality – I hope this isn’t some kind of spell
Binding pain keeps me trapped inside
Out of the frying pan and into the
Ready, aim , fire!
The smoke burns my eyes
Wide open spaces hold me captive
Audiences can’t turn their heads from the fight
To the finish! I run until my legs are broken
Hearts sinking, eyes flooded with tears
Blood and sweat […]
Covering your ears to prevent the assault of my screams
You don’t want to acknowledge the betrayal
Just the self righteous smile plastered smugly on your face
Now it’s time for the tables to turn
Time for you to feel how badly this burns
Through my heart, through my soul
And now that all is lost, especially my self control
I want you to know my pain
I want you to feel it dripping down your face
I want you to taste it on your lips
I hope you like what you see
Because you’re the one that did this to me
https://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/01-Take-It-Away.wmaExit, stage right
You can’t convince me, to keep up this fight
There’s nothing here for me
Except more tragedy
I can’t outrun the past
And, I know, I will not last
I don’t have to take it
And don’t ask where my faith went
It never existed to begin with
If you think you can shame me
With the hope I’ll consider staying
Then you’ve got another think coming
Just say goodbye
Because I’m tired of trying
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Alive-Out-Of-Habit.mp3
Why should it be taboo to kill ourselves? Just because other people don’t want it doesn’t make it abnormal. I don’t understand why people want to continue living with all the shit they have to deal with. Wake up, go to school/work/, eat, sleep, rinse, repeat. I’ve had relationships, but to me they’re more trouble than they’re worth. I don’t want to have kids. I care about my family, but that’s a tiny portion of life. It’s not enough to keep me going because I still have to be me every day and it’s exhausting. The rest is work, eat, sleep, fuck, etc. That’s […]
Sometimes the volume knob just doesn’t go high enough
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/09-Swan-Dive1.mp3
Swan Dive by (Hed) P.E.
Portraits of pain
Painted in
That pretty little head of yours
The wasteland
That all your dreams tour
You sweat it out
The sheets are soaked
Your intentions cloaked
Constantly
Presenting falsities
Expected by society
The world left senseless
By its rose colored lenses
Now reality starts to set in
This life and all its dirty little sins
The truth behind the scenes
Uglier than the face of disparity
Portraits of pain
Calling out
That tiny little
Voice inside your head
The […]
You say you can never count on me
Well you can always count on me to let you down
All you can do is sit and preach
While you watch my world turn inside out
I can hear what you’re saying
You don’t have to shout
It’s not that I’m not listening
I just don’t care
This life is a prison
And I’m not one to be bound by despair
The icy clutch of a world so cold
With no desire to grow old
Don’t question my motives
They’re not yours to rebuke
If I have to stay on this planet one more […]
https://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/04-Three-Evils-Embodied-in-Love-and-Shadow.wmaIn the absence of love
We find the comfort of solitude
Relief, in our mind’s eye
Would be, to just die
Cold
Alone
Without hope
As you stare at the length of rope
Waiting to deliver you from sadness
You succumb to this madness
You bid farewell, because my dear
You could never tell
The reason for all your tears
As I wonder
When will we meet again
Peace falls over me
This sweet, sweet reverie
The absence of love
Now a distant memory
And now I know, the secret to hope
Is to realize
That no matter how hard you fight
You can’t […]
I fear for my future
I’m haunted by the past
My disgust
Of this distrust
The deceitful actions they claim to be just
So dig my grave
As deep as the knife in my back
Because I’ll die
Before I stop this attack
My suicide
The result of a life
Steeped in despair
I’d still be here
If I could only find a way to care
So lie down with me
Let’s sleep until the world ends
With dream filled minds, we’ll pretend
Time stands still
Stolen lifetimes returned
As our blood spills
https://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/09-Stitches.wmaFeeling like I’m burning down
The tallest tree in the forest
Falling to the ground
But please don’t walk away
I need you
To wash away
The searing sin
Carved into my chest
As I refuse
To live like the rest
Of this mess
Clinging to life, like an addict to his pipe
Faith and hope, the crutch they always
Promote
But I’m not one
To swallow all their lies
The fear they hide inside
Is one I proudly wear
On my sleeve
Because I’ll be
The first, to leave
You Me At Six – Tigers And Sharks
Emarosa – Heads or Tails Real Or Not
10 – Short Stories With Tragic Endings
Sunlight creeps in through the gaps in the window blinds, covering the room in alternating strips of brilliant radiance and undefined shadow. It bares resemblance to this life. Fulgent memories of pain and suffering, with unremarkable and colorless […]
I get so tired of waiting for a new day
Searching for an answer, to make this all go away
Like broken fingers fumbling for a grip on needle and thread
To stitch the wounds of the past
But I’m not sure how much longer I can last
I scream out your name
And tell you that I’m the one to blame
But I’ve waited too long
And now that you’re gone
I’m wading through a river of tears
With the weight of all my disgrace
Dragging me beneath the currents of fate
Chewing my heart out just to survive
I’m struggling, to keep this soul alive
My body now an empty vessel
Void of dignity and hope
Slowly filling with […]
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