am falling in too deep
feel nothing but the voide it seem
calling her name
save me from this please
take me with you,wherever you were
heaven or hell,all i want is you my dear
sick and tired of waiting
so here am looking for a way to meet you there
cut me too deep and i won’t feel
cuz her smile in my memory is still fresh
making me live a black life,i want you,you are all my need
am falling in too deep
like a drug you are to me it seem
calling your name and saying my deeds
here i come to […]
i reached the point of break down,couldn’t stop myself from having this desire to bleed
i broke my promises again with everybody it seems,this fucking new year started with me cutting
ouu f don’t seem to stooop,i want to feel more pain!!
whispers in the dark
i wish to be hold in your arms
i’m losing my mind
calling your name,screaming it aloud
looking into your eyes
seeing death say his vows
looking for you around
calling you to comeback
yet you did never answer my hopeless calls
whispers in the dark
i wish if you stayed in this life
i’m losing my heart
calling your name every night
crying it out loud
hoping if you still here,next to my frozen mind
i’m still living in your era
just hopelessly imagine you here
tears fall down,and slowly i feel
you exictence is ereased from others life
whispers […]
how many tears i’ve shed until now?
how many nights i’ve been feeling this guilt of breaking this vow?
how many years i’ve wanted to convince to myself
that i’am still alive
not just breathing alive
sick of something called life
i struggle just to please my world
just to please my God
i’ve tried really hard not to cut myself
many times
i’ve promised that i wouldn’t
but sorry God,even if you are angry at me now
my demons has already ate my heart
my hand has been tainted by the crimson dye
my mind was eager to just feel a little of pain
my own world is a huge deserted land where only
emptiness and fear live,and i’am just an explorer
who travel in this world looking for the meaning
of many words like life and happiness,just searching
in vain.
inside this huge land of mine,my only friend is loneliness
and it’s the only thing that made me remain sane,inside
of my fortress i can pour my heart out to the dark walls
that surround me.
i don’t need another soul to help me or save me from this
imaginary prison,because i’m the one who choosed to be
a prisonner a captive of my own past,a hostage of […]
to live everyday,i need to struggle and fight the urge to kill myself,to cancel the idea of suicide from my head,to believe that tomorrow will be a better day,to hope that i’ll be happy again,to have faith in God that he will save me from this hell that i live.
to live a word i always say,still clinging to it with despair,i wanted to be normal like everybody is,but unfortunately i’m just a mistake.
why should i hold into a life that make me sad?why should i struggle everyday to live?i feel sorry for myself,sorry for the people who knows about my existence, i feel sorry for […]
well as start i never thought that what happened to me exceed others pain,always seemed to me meanless and i always say,for God sake why i’m depressed
my depression came from my past,cuz when i was a child i always been sexually abused by my uncles,i felt dirty and sick,i always tried to tell it to my family but they never cared(until now i’am still being abused)and like this i started to have feeling for girls because everytime a guy touch me i feel disgusted and sick but with girls it was the apposit of it,well i won’t say that i’ am lesbian it was just […]
what will you do,if your family found out that your cutting??
when they did i felt so uncovered like an open book infront of them,at least i said maybe this is where my life will take a turnover to good,but no all it did go worse than ever,my mom is keeping a close eye on me,always screaming at me,she took me to do a drug test to see if i take any kind of drugs.
my dad always asking for the reason why i did so!!
and every fucking day my mom run a check up to see if i had any new cuts
i […]
screaming around
saying your name,my fallen angel
hoping you were here again
fragile i’am for not knowing how to forget
i can’t let go of the past no matter how much i forgive
weak and broken my heart is
for not knowing,it will tear me to shreds
this sins,are just roaming in my head
screaming aloud that i’m dead
screaming around again
hoping you were here to save me from this living hell
oh!fallen angel, come to take my soul
and send it please to your underworld
surrounded by monsters and devils
now i feel like i’am at home
far from everbody,far from the human […]