just want to vanish

i feel ya. mom found out i cut this summer it was horrible she checked me everyday and forced me to promise to never do it again. it got better and of course i kept cutting but deeper and more often. a little over a week ago i tried to commit suicide it didnt work got sent to the hospital and ever since then my mom hid ALL of the sharp object and subjects me to random checks of my arms (but only when she’s pissed at me). I completely understand but in time your parents will let up… try to take this time when you cant cut to try to stop your cutting habit. and if its impossible like me me just give your skin where you usually cut time to heal and scar over and cut somewhere where no one can see then when they stop checking go back to your favorite spot. i am definitely not encouraging you to cut but if youre like me and you NEED to and it does help to relieve so of your pain ive been through it and still am and they will eventually ease up. who knows from this experience maybe you’ll be able to stop cutting through this experience 🙂