I read. I read the stories.
I see. I see your problems.
You feel the pain for someone dieing, or getting abused. Loving someone that doesn’t love you back. Loving the devil them self?
You don’t die, not yet, you’re scarred.
Scarred of reactions. Pain. GOD. Most of you are scarred of GOD! The other half of you are scarred of what a family member will see. Don’t want them traumatized. Don’t want them to end up like you.
[…]
I always hurt the ones i love. I have created a character, a personality, and the world is my stage.
“The world is a stage and we are merely actors” or something like that, it’s by shakespear or someone else old and famous…
I’m never me. Yes, I’m an actor, but outside of that, I’m to different people. As soon as I walk outside, I’m a different person, take a deep breath, time to put on a show. One in which I’m an annoying singing girl who talks a lot, listens to goth and emo music, and uses words that are to big for most people […]
My life is great. Loving parents. Not poor (nither rich but like it matters). There is no reason for me to want to die. I do though. There’s no reason for me to live. I don’t believe in god. I don’t care about family reactions. I only care about myself. I’m selfish, I don’t have a problem with me being selfish. I WANT TO DIE. I just don’t want pain. Every death is painful if self inflicted. Other than pills, but if that doesn’t work. People will make it impossible for me to kill myself, and I’ll have worse of a life. Joy! Any ideas?
I went to counseling like I do every 2 weeks. And we talked, and she said that they can change that I want to kill myself. The fact the I want to kill my self is logical. I have logic. I have a long speech about you die anyways and life doesn’t matter. I told her this, her reply: We can change the way you think about that (Or something to that extent). WTF? So I talk to ma mom about it and she’s like “They mean the way you perceive life” and I’m like, the way I perceive life is the way I think!!!!!! […]