Sui_RC

So fuck this right. I am a college student and we have to do a couple of internships at the end of our sophomore year. And like one of them can be a project based thing and another with a company. So I get a professor to give me a project and somehow, in spite of by substandard CV, get a company to hire me without pay. The last two months basically were me begging the prof to give me something to work on, and hearing from the corporate guy how my incompetence knows no bounds.

So basically, I spent the last two months, wasting my […]

I am not suicidal anymore. Not in the sense people use that word. I no longer want to kill myself. I fantasize about it. But no, I no longer want to jump off or OD. Maybe it is because I realised I’m incapable of such a bold move. I am of weak constitution.

Off late, this feeling has gripped me that my time is limited. It has become my go-to excuse for anything.

“Oh, I’ll do later, and even if I don’t and something bad happens, I’ll just off myself.”

Thats my most though-off thought.

I feel like my boat is yet still hitched to […]

I keep drifting towards any and all ledges I see. Anywhere I go all I see are opportunities to kill myself.
I can’t seem to get that final push. I need to kill myself. Not want, need. There is nothing left for me here anymore.

Help me. Tell me how to get past that final fear barrier.

Cheers.

I had to start going to therapy.
My therapist told me I have Boderline Personality Disorder, imposter syndrome, and multiple other stuff.

Can someone walk me through this?
Is there some medication I can take ?

Cheers.

Hey guys,
my last post was little more than an year back. A lot has changed in between.
And yet a lot has remained the same.

I started cutting. Again.

I started smoking. Again.

I am a disappointment.

Still suicidal.

Hey SP,
Its been a long time.
Last post was too long back.

First the good news,
Ive got into my dream college.
The girl i was mad bout moved to a new city, so i dont obsess over her.
I stopped cutting.
I stopped smoking.

Bad news
I cant stop feeling inadequate and empty.
Whenever i am alone i become sad and start thinking about the girl.
I am the worst student in my class.
I am not suicidal, but i am demotivated and lifeless.