SuicideBoy

It’s raining harder than I’ve seen in 15 years. I’m sitting in my car facing the boat launch typing this on my phone. My stupid fucking phone that’s responsible for all the hell I’ve suffered  for 2 years. But we’ll get to that later.

Or maybe not… The engine is running, and I have it in gear with my left foot holding the clutch down. As soon as I release it, the engine wil engage, and 120 horses will drag me over that launch and into the waters of whatever-the-hell river this is. My foot is getting tired…

I took 8 sleeping pills which is more than […]

I’m tired of people in my life telling me “suicide is quitting.” No, lying down and accepting the pain is quitting. Suicide is taking action. It’s not necessarily the right action, but it’s an action nonetheless.

People who say suicide is quitting are making the assumption that the goal in life is to live. That’s not my goal. My goal is to end this suffering. I haven’t had any luck so far, but I have one last trick up my sleeve.

I refuse to lie down and take this. I will accomplish my goal if it kills me. Why suicide? Because I refuse to quit.

There are a lot of people in this world who should die, who deserve to die, and who have no place being alive. I think I top the list.

I’ve always been true to myself, always done what I thought was right. If I had my entire life to live over again, I would do the exact same things that got me into this mess.

I conclude that I am a mistake. I don’t know why I was put here on this planet or whether I was a 1 in a million freak mutation, but I should never have existed. I am the opposite of everything that’s […]