When i met her we kind of liked each other. We started going out. After about 2 weeks of dating she says she is not really looking for a relationship. Feeling neglected and rejected i burry my feelings and live on. I was kind of sad tho. Maybe becouse i never fell in love with someone this much before. 2 years pass and i get a random text from her asking me out on a pizza date. All those burried feelings flood my toughts and i fell for her more then ever. Date went well and we’ve been talking for a while then i say […]
…I haven’t posted in a while, and that’s becouse I’ve been trying to be happy and stay happy. But why do I always end up at the starting point, feeling worthless and tired? This deppression suffocates me, it’s not letting go. Sharp knife rests on my wrist begging to slice it open! I know I shouldn’t do it. Trying to restrain myself….but it feels so good! The pain is addictive, the blood is beautiful! I’m afraid of what people will think of me if I tell them how I feel. Will they think I’m weird and insane? Am I weird? Am I insane?
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Tall-guy-Free-me.mp3
A song I wrote about depression.
Lyrics:
Free me from this prison,
I’ve been locked away for so long,
every day seems to last forever.
Then comes the night,
the time when all my toughts are set free,
they flow through me aimlessly
wanting to become a part of me!
I can feel the darkness
taking over my mind,
all I can see is blackness,
I feel empty, like there’s nothing to be found.
Within me
there is only despair,
I can not see clearly
it feels like life isn’t fair.
And then I think to myself
what feels better,
or less painfull
than being alive?
A rope around my neck?
A bullet through my head?
freefalling through the sky
meeting death at the end?
And then I think […]
Free me from this prison
Ive been locked away for ao long
Every day seems to last forever.
Then comes the night
The time when all my toughts are set free
They flow through me aimlessly
Wanting to become a part of me.
I can feel the darkness
Taking over my mind
All i can see is blackness
I feel empty, like there’s nothing to be found.
Within me
There is only despair
I can not see clearly
It feels like life isn’t fair.
And then i think to myself
What feels better
Or less painfull
Than being alive?
A rope around my neck?
A bullet through my head?
Freefalling through the sky
Meeting death at the end?
……….
And then i think to myself
Maybe life isn’t so bad
But […]
By each passing day, suicide seems more and more like the best option.
so i started to cut myself. My sister found out and wanted to talk to me. She asked me why do i do it and i couldnt tell her…i couldnt tell her that the pain from cuts makes me forget about my mental pain, it also kind of feels good. i just told her “i dont know” and kept quiet. I promised her not to do it anymore, but i couldnt keep that promise. Instead, I now have scars on my legs. Much deeper scars. and it helps.
…lying in my bed, thinking about life. Thinking about people i care when it suddenly hits me. I care for no one. how can that be? how come there is not one person that i can talk to, that i can love and trust? i feel alone in this world like i do not belong here. That is why i made this account on this page where there are people like me. People that understand, unlike my friends. I guess Im just hoping to meet a person that understands, a person i can talk to. A person that has the same problems. I know my […]
yesterday I failed a test at school and was not suprised, I stayed positive and told myself I’ll pass it next time. I had a huge argument with my parents and my positive state of mind quickly turned to deppresion…I spent the whole day just lying in bed, thinking…why do my parents yell at me? why can’t they just say something nice instead of making me feel like I embarras them? I’m being treated like i was a mistake, like I don’t even matter to them. maybe I don’t…Today I woke up rested and despite everything I tried to be happy. I came into the kitchen […]
by each passing day my suicide toughts grow stronger. I think I hate every person, even my family members. I cant find a girlfriend and i dont think i ever will. My life is revolving around finding pleasure in meaningless sex…I am constantly in the center of attention and being bullied due to my hieght ( im 6 feet 9 ( 207cm))…the only thing keeping me alive is my passion for music. I’ve been paying the guitar for about 5 years and i cant see myself doing anything other in life but making music. It is my way of expressing myself. I act coldhearted to […]