I haven’t been on here for a year and a half, there is ahuge part of me that says live on. But a small part of me that says die. I can’t take this pain day in and day out.
Some days are okay. Most days are dreary. I can’t do what HE did. I hjust don’t have it in me, but I just don’t have the strength to live like this day in and day out. I miss him sooooo much, just want things the way they used to be
sutterly
Thank you for making me feel alive
thank you for listening and letting me in your life
thank you for staying by my side
even though it wasn’t me you loved
thank you for allowing me to see the real me
thank you for the absolute ecstasy night after night
unconditional I told you
years I gave you
what you left me is insanity
this pain is just too real
thank you for being honest
thank you for lying
I gave you all of me
Your dead and you still have all of me
I heard your sister tried to take her life
This is […]
Jan 12 , 2011 – the love of my life took his life. Its been the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. And I have had my share of bull to deal with in my life. From being gang-raped at the age of 17, and a single mom of 2 children. Supporting them by carrying different jobs including escorting. This past year has taken its toll on me. About a month ago I wanted to end my life. I am 37 years old and I would be lying to say it was my first attempt. My first was when I was about […]
My boyfriend/soulmate committed suicide 4 months ago. I made him my life for the past 7 years. His depression and desperation got the best of him. As I lay here writing this I can’t help but feel his depression overcoming me, and the need to be with him. I don’t want to leave my house, I feel what is the point. I am in counselling, its not helping. I am slowly withering away. My friends have all abandoned me. I don’t want to be pityed, I am tired of people looking at me and knowing they are thinking “poor-thing.” I just lost my job (not […]