I haven’t been on here for a year and a half, there is ahuge part of me that says live on. But a small part of me that says die. I can’t take this pain day in and day out.
Some days are okay. Most days are dreary. I can’t do what HE did. I hjust don’t have it in me, but I just don’t have the strength to live like this day in and day out. I miss him sooooo much, just want things the way they used to be
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5 comments
I don’t know if you will ever feel totally fine. But there must be things in your life that are worth it. Hang on to that.
I think you should stop thinking about the past. I understand that loosing someone is very hard. But try to think of the good things you had. And realise that you can have good things again, and i bet you have them right now.
I want to say something that would make all better, but I am not sure if there is anything I could. I think you can help yourself though. And i think you are trying.
Each time, you start feeling sad, or going to this sad things, pull yourself away from it.
If possible do something phisycally active. If not concentrate on reading or something else. Focus on nice things. Are you sleeping well? If not you have to try and get some good rest too. If you are not properly rested everything feels worse.
I wish I could help you more.
I try every day…thank you so much for your kind words.. It means alot. I wish I had someone around to tell me thjis on a daily basis. I try, I read books, i swim, I try soo soo hard to focus on everything else thats positive but it always comes back to this… I wish you could help me more too
the guilt of losing him will never go away. I played a big part in his suicide.
I don’t think the pain of losing someone ever foes away, I think people just get used to living without them.
Guilt is a hard emotion to be living with. It will eat you alive, if you let it. Have you spoken to someone ? Like a professional ? It might help.
Losing anyone is hard. But when it’s there own choice it can get you thinking. If you need someone to vent to, I’m here.
My email is on the other page
Even if the pain will never go away, you should get better for him. Live at your fullest for him. And I don’t think you were guilty of what happened to him. To be honest, everyone around can be the best in the world, but if your mind is going there, there is nothing you can do. A person has to find their path into wanting to be alive, and you can’t really force that on someone.
If anything, you need to forgive yourself. Doesn’t matter what happened. You did the best you could. Even if it doesn’t seem that way, you did. “The what if’s” wont help you.
Maybe you should not forget him, you should remember him for the good things. Maybe if every day you devote a moment to the good things about him, and you had with him, then you will be able to cope with the rest of the day, as a tribute to him.
I am not sure how this site works either, but if you can see my email, feel free to contact me with it too 🙂