Vanna

I’m in that mood again but it’s different.

I just moved out into a different place,

I couldn’t handle the one place anymore-

And lately I feel like there’s no forward or backwards,

My mind is absolutely feels like it’s a dream.

Last night I cried myself to sleep,

I wanted to cut and than take all the Melatonins so the pain won’t bother,

Don’t know what to do anymore.

I wish it was a dream-

Tell me it’s a dream.

There’s a monster underneath my bed-
I cannot hop out like usually-
The sun has to shine-
Cause he only comes out at night.
When I want to sneak upstairs-
He grabs my legs-
Trying to pull me under-
So I grab my flashlight,
Scaring him back to his den.
I cannot sleep when it’s-
1 o’clock in the morning.
My eyes are wide open for him-
To take me as for his feast.
The blankets covers my fear-
That seem to glow of my body.
Nobody ever believe’s me,
When I scream out for help-
They think I’m calling out wolf.
No I do […]

Beyond every fatality-
Is ignoring that it has happened.
So you shove it off-
Back into your brain.
Knowing it wont come-
To ruin any special occasion.
And that you wont-
Hide into your room,
With tears of guilt.
Reminisce pictures-
And notes,
That have been passed down-
Of generations.
Now that the dirt-
Covers everything in charcoal-
The dust doesnt rub off,
So faguely-
The best of life.
The screams has-
Overfilled your words.
Now that sorry’s dont ever count-
Or talking to the miracles-
That would’ve been.
Just coloring the vivid-
Goals-
Into emptiness

Haven’t been able to eat lately
Nor have I slept deeply.
I tried to relax,
But I keep a tight grip.
And every night that I,
Talk to myself and wonder.
My friend puts drama on my hands-
That I have to care for.
I love helping out-
Sadly my body is weak in bane.
Sometimes I look at childrens eyes-
Making me smile cause I was once-
Wild as the wind.
Until I had to grow up….
So now there’s responsibility-
Of surviving the twisted reality.
Every fun is spoiled.
No wonder my brain is off-
Ever since I came back to this-
Unfitting […]

Let me stoop in my own light-

But drain all my weakness,

Or tears I have shreaded,

That have appeared on my face.

Ability of strength of belief-

Forgiveness of all the wrongs,

I seemed to misplace.

Nor has the sham of will-

The vines of poison that crawl up-

My bony spine,

Always leaves memories of scars,

That were transplanted into-

My skin of bane.

Intials and names will never be erased…
Or even replaced.
Or even fade away.
So it’ll always stay.
No magic marker-
To scribble it all out.
Nor plastic surgery-
Will cover the evidence.
No… it will always stay.

When she dances-
My heart starts to fly.
It goes up my lungs leaving me-
Breathless.
I try to grasp her beauty,
But she waltz away.
When I see her go-
Her eyes sparkle like gold.
Heaven is saving my soul,
Once again.
Her body glows in the light-
And I’m losing my mind.
The snow is melting turning-
In back into spring.
Oh will she stay for the night?
Make another performance,
Cause my mind is juggled up.
My knee’s grow weak-
When her scent like vanilla of a hint-
Of rose like her cheeks.
Needing a seat-
Gazing at her shiny hair.
In […]

He tears up when has learned-
That his father has been abducted,
Especially before the special memories-
That will soon to be misery.
When he thinks of him-
He starts to plead to have him back-
But the taker will not,
Take his bribe-
Of tears or money,
He enjoys seeing the man down,
And dying inside.
Oh this heartless man-
Takened his father down to the road-
Where it all began.
From a step to a trap-
And now he is strapped in a chair,
Getting smeared of dirt and grim.
The son cannot get him back-
With all his might.
No the strangers […]

Sitting up in bed
All hope of sleep lost
Fighting back these feelings
Knowing what giving in will cost

But it whispers my name
And I feel my will start to fail
All the reasons I had to stop
Seem like they’re starting to pale

The darkness is swallowing me whole
And drowning me in a sea of tears
My ears are filled with silent screams
My thoughts are filled with all my fears

No one to call, nothing to say
Running out of options to try
I open the drawer and see my escape
But still I cry

Deep down I know it’s wrong
But in these moments […]

Look at me,
See what you did-
Leaving this mess you have placed.
No forgiveness has takened or been said-
Cant you read right through me?
Dont you try to reach out for my hand-
I’m lost and scared,
Of the real imagery of myself.
Why is this killing me softly-
A bitter taste of shame-
You’re crawling out of my veins.
The coldness slithers down my spine,
Please take yourself all back-
Not another memory.
Cause I have engraved-
And wasted to many days.
I have called out for help-
But my shouts didn’t pass-
The Ocean Breeze.
The sand is grabbing my legs-

The man on the piano plays the tune-
To bring the spirits that still-
Ponder on this earth.
And the man on the strings-
Brings happiness of tear,
In the humans eyes-
When he cannot depise-
That all souls,
Cannot move on-
With there used to be lives.
No he can touch-
The regret and loneliness-
That these ghosts have brought-
With their grave.
But do they wait?
For the loved ones they have tried to save-
In the accidents of shame.
Or do they not leave-
Cause they promised they-
Will walk upon heaven,
With them on there side.
When the man that stand […]

What is an angel in disguise?
Is it something I am able to feel-
Or to trust for my soul-
To follow of home.
Is it a human?
With warmth as a offering-
And words like a snake-
So it poisons the brain.
Every book has writtened papers-
Of feeling free,
No more worries on my shoulders.
Oh does this angel somber alone?
Or walks in the day-
Like the rest of us.
Noboday ever seems to be home-
In the house welcoming.
So little children-
Run off to alleys,
Learning life the wrong way,.
But will there angel,
Come swoop down-
Hover around there […]

A lit cigarette-
Sits on the table-
Letting out fumes of disgust.
No there is no windows-
Or lights on the ceilings to show-
The yellow painted walls with-
Blood stains.
The air is dusty and unbreathable.
Cupboard doors hang off there hinges-
And look inside.
There is cracked plates-
With gold rims.
Lower we go to the stove-
In between the small cracks,
Is dirt and grim-
That seems to hover onto the counter tops.
The floor is slit into two-
And lies a knife and a spoon.
Closer to the door-
It is dark and tragedy,
Of people seeing the dead.
When it […]

So you have the accent of temptations,
The soul of thirst-
On a prey that wants your taste.
You have the eyes-
Kills each heart in two.
Your words have its way-
To get in people’s mind.
Twist them up like-
Poisoned vines.
Each movement you make,
Is innocent with flawless beauty.
How can this be?
You are too sweet-
And devillish.
The air you make us breathe-
Is light and delicious.
Yes,
You have your smooth ways-
When you want something to feast on,
When the hunger of fun-
Starts with the easy ones.

I am clean today-
From another cut, a lit cigarette,
Meth and cocaine.
I did not toke or even inject.
Nor did I take speed with a hint of ‘e.’
There was no alcohol-
So I didnt drink.
Not another LSD or Ketamine.
No GHB mixed with steriods.
Or the Methadone that kills.
The piles of Phencyclidene is-
All gone.
Same with Bezocaine to Lidocaine.
Nope, I am clean today.

I liked the taste of your lips,
But then later on it turned bitter.
I tried to ignore it-
I couldnt.
The warmth that was there beside me-
Automatically turned into cold.
It’s because if winter?
Cause my skin seems to bleed,
And my teeth start to chatter.
There’s no grasp of life.
I breathe in the poisoned air-
As it slithers down my throat-
Something says let go.
I cannot simply do that,
The music that rang in my ear-
One day stopped.
I searched high and low,
But I cannot find my Wonderland.
Why is everything leaving,
Is it a wish that I […]