Time flies. Remember this because it’s the truth. 6 years has gone so fast. 6 years of nothing but pain and Misery. I know that nothing will ever change. I am the very monster I wanted to destroy and now, I can with simple choice: Death
I’m gonna die in two days and I don’t know if I should be happy about it. Kite, I am but I just can’t figure out why.
In 5 days, she will never have to see me again. No one will. This is because I get what I deserve.
Wow. I realize I only have a week before ya know, but I can’t stop feeling like I have things to do beforehand. I just don’t know if I can go another 6 years looking for someone who can just listen without flipping out and trying too hard to help. But I feel I’ve done too much damage to good people’s lives to stall. Like, for the love of bacon, why me? I used to be innocent and happy, and now I ain’t worth the dirt under my shoe. I guess not all dreams come true.
I’m pulling the plug in 9 days and to be honest, not entirely regretting it. This is the first time I’ve had control over anything and it’s nice. I mean, it sucks, but in the end, maybe this is for the best. For me. For everyone . Because this is not a disease. This is a result of just not feeling anything but pain. Pain that no one should have to endure.
I searched for 6 years for someone who cared. It took me maybe a month to drive her away. If I could just have one thing before I die, I just want to hear […]
Same shit different day as they say in modern society. People like us just can’t say that anymore. I feel that I would rather the pain than just nothing. I am more a mindless machine than anything. Hour by hour. Day by day. Endless pain and suffering. If there IS light at the end of this tunnel, this is a long ass tunnel. But it seems darker and more inforgiving than 2012, when I thought I could beat this thing. To all who read this, just remember, we are not ill. We are REAL!! We are considered to be wrong for seeing the world in […]
I did this to decrease the pain and anger and now, my only memories left are in music. That will be next. Memories are all I have left for happiness and I HATE THEM ALL!!!! It’s either pain or nothing at all. A to the motherfuckin’ men!
For everyone out there who is struggling with suicidal thoughts and/or depression, I just want to ask you a question. Have you ever felt like this a drowning feeling? Because if I am the only one, that would be good information. Thanks.
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