I didn’t think I’d ever be back at this site again. Finally a marine and all I thought I was good but now I feel worse. I miss my home, my friends, my family. I have only seen them for 10 days so far this year and it’s taking a real toll on me. I have no one to talk to about this. I just want to go home but I can’t. I have literally walked to the store everyday considering just getting drowsy medicine so I can just end it since there literally no other choice to make my life better. Either leave here […]
I think i know whats wrong with me now. Its not that im suicidal. I just dont care about myself or anyone else anymore. I used to be the most talkative person to the point my mother told i talk too much as much as she does. But one thing I can say I’ve learned about people and myself is that for some it takes a lot to change them or for some like the joker says in the dark night it only takes a little push. I myself was to take a lot however letting my current girlfriend deep into my heart was a […]
Today Im on lunch and i get a picture message on instagram from an ex showing my gf on her exs page. Earlier saturday I brought up the fact she hasnt been talking to me for a while as she has been. we used to call every night and until saturday we barely called once a week so i knew something was up. then the last pic showed her on oovoo with her ex when she stated she hated oovoo. for 8 months we dated i spent about 700 dollars on her(I calculated) for her to leave me for a “gangsta”. I told the guy […]
I may have finally figured everything out. Im at a point where i cant get better. I just need to stay where I am in this state in which I need to be alone and rot. My Parents sometimes care and throw me away especially my father. But, They care more about my drug addict brother. They treat him more better than me. He curses them out and threatens them yet they keep letting him in the house. He is fucking 21 for christs sake! Im leaving to the Marine Corps. on janurary 11 and Im ready for the day to come. Im Obviously too […]
So, tonight I go to church with my girlfriend but she seemed to be to herself so I begin communicating to her god sister who made me highly frustrated. So, I speak to my girlfriends friend and so on. No physical contact with any of them, no intimate talk just laughing and having a good time. And every now and then I tried bringing my girfriend in but she just wouldnt. Later I text her god sister apologizing for being sensitive as she told me she was joking. Even later I text my girlfriend and let her know im home and ready to call her […]
Im back to where I started this time in front of my parents I bit myself as hard as I could in front of them. They said I need help but my whole family does. I just got in a relationship with a girl I have been dying to be with. And now my mother treats our relationship like its her messed up marriage saying I give her too much attention and soon she will get tired of me and not love me anymore. She even had the audacity to go to my girlfriend and tell her “Dont distract him from what he needs to […]
Lately i haven’t been able to keep a good morale at home with my parents. Ever since I have started trailing of in school my parents have done nothing but tear me down. I tend to forget the last time I heard something positive from them. I have attempted suicide twice during the moments my grades have been going down. No one is here for me. I have lately even began questioning my religion. Whats the point of living if there is nothing to live for? What is there to look forward to tomorrow? More depression? Or nothing at all? I’m just tired of living […]