Author

thedeathproject

Well what to say. I don't have much of a belief in the world around me, but I do appreciate small things, like this website for example. I've been depressed and suicidal since I was about 13 and I can't say it's a quality of mine, more like my imprint. I wanted to be a graphic designer, but I want something else more than that, and that's death. I've hit so many lows and lost so many good friends along the way. I'm 25 and my first plan to kill myself was when I was 14, so I really consider myself to be way past due. I have a conscience though and I think about my family. I keep trying to believe that things will get better. But it never does.

Dark Night of the Soul

by thedeathproject 12/15/2014

written by thedeathproject

It’s that time again

It’s night and I cannot rest. There is no such thing as sleep.

And my mind couldn’t be crueler

I see blood on my arms and the vision in my mind calms me

But it takes more courage than I or alcohol has and another night I go unpunished.

The noise in my mind filters all the way through

There is nothing to combat all that anguish.

I fail, as I do time and time again

And you cannot solve what I can’t accomplish.

I can’t establish time and presence in this space

Because everything I feel abandons feeling.

I escape with no entity found

A soul without a means of ending with […]

12/15/2014 0 comment

this pain kills over oceans and roads

by thedeathproject 1/26/2013

written by thedeathproject

Is there anyone out there that feels as suicidal as me?

1/26/2013 4 comments

Future

by thedeathproject 1/26/2013

written by thedeathproject

I’ve lost a job I loved. And I need to to pay this month’s rent and the next and etc. And I can’t fathom any of this because before all of this I was the suicidal girl and that never changed, though the circumstances that effected my life did. But how can I begin to start again when all I want more than anything is death? I have interests, but the only driving force that really exists within me is anything that gets me closer to death. This is my secret that I can’t tell anyone. Until my eventual suicide says it all.

1/26/2013 7 comments

A Reason to Die that Reasons Itself

by thedeathproject 1/12/2013

written by thedeathproject

If you’re serious about it, and it’s pure and not some bullshit reason then I think it makes you a better person. It’s all wrong inside my head, but if that is the case I think it’s because that I’m all wrong because the world isn’t right.And suicide is the ultimate way of saying I can’t exist here because I can’t say that I’m okay with this being the world we live in. And in my heart of hearts, I really can’t think of a better reason to choose this path. Given I’ve had this darkness since I was about 14, you could say I’ve […]

1/12/2013 1 comment

Just give me a gun.

by thedeathproject 1/11/2013

written by thedeathproject

Suicide is the only constant in my life. It’s always been the thing that made sense. Living is torment and volatile and there’s only confusion. Wanting to die is the only thing I’ve ever been sure of. I just need a gun and a hotel room with a view. These things should be attainable right? Why the fuck can’t I get them? I’d love for someone to break into my house right now and kill me.

1/11/2013 5 comments