Author

thetrashmen

we are eaten up by nothing

Lotus

by thetrashmen 2/23/2018

written by thetrashmen

In spite of how much I try,

or protest,

or submit,

my parents can’t seem to take me any longer.

I’m supposed to be whisked off to Virginia

to live with my grandparents.

I’ve never had much of a desire to go to the east coast,

and find it inferior to my own state.

But in giving into my depression,

I lost the opportunity for choice.

I won’t miss my parents as much as I’ll miss my friends,

I won’t miss my friends as much as I’ll miss my english teacher,

and I sure as hell won’t miss any of them as much as I’ll miss my rabbit.

I’ll live.

2/23/2018 2 comments

in regards to clipped-wings

by thetrashmen 2/19/2018

written by thetrashmen

I think about you a lot.

Are you well?

2/19/2018 2 comments

those shitty walk cycles in late 90’s 3D animation

by thetrashmen 1/31/2018

written by thetrashmen

I’m doing a wonderful job of getting progressively worse

My mother is considering quitting her job because

I’m kinda shutting down.

She told me her day has been okay

but I’m told she nearly crashed this morning

because my bullshit made her break down mentally.

I saw this kid walking to school near me yesterday.

I don’t see that too often because most people around here seem to get rides.

I believe he’s a junior.

He seemed mature

in that traditional sense

like adults could take him seriously

but I noticed the entire walk

that his actions

seemed to be completely independent of his surroundings.

It reminded me of low budget graphics

and how, in truly terrible films, the characters have […]

1/31/2018 1 comment

I’m Completely Over My Head

by thetrashmen 1/24/2018

written by thetrashmen

So apparently

the school is considering expulsion

due to my piss poor attendance.

I’m doing my absolute best

but I’m just

lacking.

I wake up late

so often

and I’m so socially anxious that going in late isn’t an option for me.

It feels like there’s no pleasant or bearable way out of this mess

and it’s slaughtering me.

I’m so goddamn tired that homework is out of the question

I collapse when I get home

no matter how well I understand the subject.

I’ve always gotten around on my academic performance

but this has nothing to do with it and I have no idea what I’m going to do about it.

1/24/2018 3 comments

Pork Soda

by thetrashmen 1/20/2018

written by thetrashmen

So I got out of the adolescent unit of a behavioral health facility

and

I’m lost.

I went purposely, y’know

seeking help.

And I got some?

I felt so optimistic

so productive

whilst I was there

but I got picked up last night

and now I just

don’t know what to do or how to apply anything?

There’s so much to fix

so much to get past

and it seemed so simple there but now it’s just

not?

I had it mapped, planned in the abstract

and no way to truly accomplish anything.

I’m trying so hard to get it together and I’m so pissed that I can’t fix myself in a day

but Rome fucking burned in one.

1/20/2018 9 comments

i’m just…lonely?

by thetrashmen 1/15/2018

written by thetrashmen

I’m not particularly striking, I suppose.

Not lightskinned, my nose is big

Just generally unappealing

I’ve worn an afro for about 4 years now

turns people off, or the ones I’m trying to attract at least.

I oversexualize myself in a way that seems to push people away even more.

I’ve this ridiculous tendency to be both loud and overtly inappropriate

I’m aware of it but,,, it’s just the way I am, I suppose.

I’m so good at repulsing everyone and I’m just

at this developmental stage in life where everyone else is changing and I’m just…not?

Dying hair, getting piercings, finding interests

I suppose I’ve gone through that phase already

but I’m just. stagnant at this […]

1/15/2018 13 comments