Tobias

Please, I need some help. Forget about what causes it; I’m just sick of being in pain. I notice that I can have a few good days during the week if I’m lucky, but the rest of the time I’m in pain and I’m just tired of it. And it’s such a shame to throw away a potentially good life, but I don’t know what to do anymore.  I can really see how good it can be if my mental handicaps didn’t bring me down all the time and I just keep saying to myself, “It’s not fair.” I don’t know what this came from or […]

www.facebook.com/TheyCallMeManhattan Please feel free to add me if you find refuge in any of my writing or you’d like to talk to a critical thinker. Today went pretty badly, as I was overly concerned with my physique yet again. I have a condition called Muscle Dysmorphia; a specific term from a broader term known as Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). Muscle Dysmorphia (MD) is commonly referred to as Bigorexia because as the name implies, it is an obsession with the physique, only with the opposite desires of an anorexic. I wish to be bigger and weigh more. I cannot stress enough how much this means to […]

You are always free to add me on www.facebook.com/theycallmemanhattan I could always use more insightful minds on my list. This “note” is something that I wrote about a year ago, very broad, but I understand that for some parts the organization has suffered.  I haven’t completed this, nor have I fixed all of the grammatical mistakes, however I believe that if you feel suicidal, this is something you should read. It’s fair and true. Thankyou.

Suicide

Why would anyone ever even consider suicide? Better yet, why would anyone even think about it at all? What could possibly be so bad that would make someone think that […]

If you relate with my philosophy in any way, I’m always open to networking with like-minds. You may add me on www.facebook.com/theycallmemanhattan

You know, I’ve come a long way with my current therapist. I’ve had so many of them but not once, except with this one, have I ever been fully understood. I think that my problems are very different from others’ so it may have been that that made it difficult to “connect” with previous therapists. Fundamentally, my problems are probably the same as anyone elses. I yearn for companionship; platonic or otherwise. I yearn for acceptance, gratification, fulfillment, a purpose, to be happy, […]

What the hell am I supposed to do? I don’t know if you’ve read any of my previous posts, but if you have, you’d have noticed a consistency in them as far as the problem I have with society’s subjective morality. I have several notes I’ve written on facebook that I welcome you to read. www.facebook.com/theycallmemanhattan I am just so sick of the subjective morality that has been instilled. I have had it! I just can’t handle it anymore. People are SO SURE that this construct is flawless and absolute and they’re just so wrong. Anytime I try telling these “monkeys” this truth, they […]

You know, I’ve come a long way with my current therapist. I’ve had so many of them but not once, except with this one, have I ever been fully understood. I think that my problems are very different from others’ so it may have been that that made it difficult to “connect” with previous therapists. Fundamentally, my problems are probably the same as anyone elses. I yearn for companionship; platonic or otherwise. I yearn for acceptance, gratification, fulfillment, a purpose, to be happy, etc.. All of those are rudimentary foundations for humans to desire. What separates my problems from others is my perception of things […]

I don’t think that any human ever truly wishes to die. I think all humans desire an ideal lifestyle. Some of them are unable to live it, so they choose to not live at all. Ofcourse, there’s bound to a few people that are an exception to this generalization. I’d like to know why they’d sincerely like to die. What are their motives other than great curiosity of what happens after death?

As for myself, negative feelings often override the positive ones. I find humans in general to be relatively stupid. Humans tend to be more comfortable with believing things that make them feel good than […]

I find myself to continue to be suicidal because of my objective views of life. I recognize the emptiness of every moral, value, or principle and I can’t seem to adopt enough of them for myself because I hardly find any of them reputable enough to call my own. I’m so sick of the subjective morality of this place. I’m sick of hearing about how I need to find Jesus, I’m sick of the constant reverence and respect for a deity, and I can’t seem to find anyone that thinks the way I do. Anytime I express that, I’m always torn down with, “well, you […]

I feel like sharing some of my thoughts. I’m able to write very well when I’m upset, I’ve noticed. Two things are always responsible for making me upset or suicidal. This has been true especially for the last 5 years. The first thing is my physique. You know what an anorexic is, right? Well for different reasons I exhibit some of the same feelings an anorixic has, but just the opposite. I cry about not being big enough. I do whatever I can to GAIN weight, which is exactly the opposite of what an anorexic does. My therapist reminds me that quite often, anorexics aren’t […]